never fatal

my best friend's wife

2012-01-16T15:04:00.034-05:00

i'm getting married.

wait, really? when did that happen? wasn't it just yesterday that i turned a corner in B&N and ran into him by accident? we constantly (and i mean, constantly) kept bumping into each other after that; a couple more times at the bookstore, and multiple times at jazzman's. we had a movie night at my apartment one night with friends, and i remember going to bed that night thanking God that B and I could be friends again; just like the old times; just like we did before he had a girlfriend.

i missed him.

one night he invited me over for dinner. i expected it to be a social gathering, but when i walked in, there was homemade pasta on the stove and a table set for two. when his roommate came home, we all stood in the kitchen and talked for the longest time. i even told them about a guy i had gone out on a date with; a guy that i was interested in. B and i were best friends... i could tell him those types of things, right? simultaneously, they shot looks at one another. B hesitated in a response, looking nervous and so let down. "what the heck is going on?" i thought. "why are they being so weird about this?"

i drove home that night putting pieces of the night together. it wasn't normal. he wasn't being normal. i started practicing how i'd let him down, just in case it had been a date; just in case he was interested. we'd been here before; on the brink of being friends and being something more-- and honestly, i just didn't want to go there again.

about a month later, after another dinner at his house, he randomly grabbed my hand out of nowhere and wouldn't let go. i tried desperately to remember my let's-stay-friends speech, but i just couldn't. "this is your best friend," I thought.. "and he's holding your hand right now. weird-- but it's right."

And now, almost a year later-- that hand is promised to him.

this summer, my whole life will change.
i'll be my best friend's wife.

when did that happen?

it's a wonderful life

2011-10-31T16:58:00.002-04:00

what's up world!

I'm home for a few days, chillin' out with the madre, helping her put her house back together after it's spectacular remodel, facebook stalking, pinning, and watching Say Yes to the Dress. The world is cold and quiet-- in shades of orange, red, brown, yellow and white. I laid in bed forever last night just looking out my window at the stars. They're so beautiful here. I'd almost forgotten.

I've been tirelessly searching for a job back in Lynchburg. Graduation will be here soon, and soon after that: the dreaded loan payments. Uhhhhh...yeah. I've applied to over 25 jobs...and so far: nothing. Tears. Nail-biting. Deep breaths. And Prayer.
Lots and lots of prayer.

But despite all the unsureness about what's to come, I have such a wonderful life.
And I serve a huge God.

clothingless

2011-10-13T14:41:00.001-04:00

Honoring God with school work is the single most difficult thing in the world to do. Especially when you need to go to the library but all you have to wear is a robe because all of your underwear, all of your bras, all of your jeans, sweats, shirts, dresses., etc are being churned in a washing machine. I just need some clothes, dag nabbit.

for such things we may never know

2011-09-28T00:00:00.020-04:00

When I was younger I used to pray that God would give me a gift exchange. You know, something like what Ariel did with Ursula in the Little Mermaid. But instead of trading my voice in for legs, I'd trade my voice in for some mad basketball skills. Because that was the 'cool' thing to do. Apparently.

The basketball thing eventually phased out when I realized that I didn't even like basketball, but as I got older it turned into other things. Today, it's become a multitude of things. For one, I'd probably rather be a writer than a singer-- but only because writing doesn't come as easily to me. I have to put a lot of effort into it. And to be honest, there's a part of me that really wants affirmation for that effort and for what's being born from it. I want people to leave comments and follow my blog-- yet a good majority of the time, my posts get no acknowledgement whatsoever. That sounds way whiny (because it is)-- but without any affirmation, I feel like I've failed....that what I've written sucks. And this goes for anything I do or take on. I need affirmation, dad gummit. It must be my love language or something. Cliche. But probably.

I might always be average at writing, at cooking, and at decorating my house. I'll even be average at singing (especially here in Lynchburg where the talent pool is insanely deep). But once I feel like quitting any one of those things simply because I can't be the 'best' at it, I've lost a battle with my pride.

I think the idea I haven't quite grasped yet, is the idea that service does not have to equate perfection. Service is not tallied by the amount of comments received on a blog post, a cooked meal, or a 'cute' house. Service is giving back to God what He has given to us, period. Therefore, only I can bring to the world what God intended me to bring, and only you can bring to the world what God intended you to bring-- the only thing is that we must bring something. Exceptional or not in its execution, it is the exact thing God desires to use for His plan and purpose-- for such things, we may never know.

romans 8 by heart

2011-09-27T14:06:00.027-04:00

This past Saturday, B. and I decided that we were going to memorize Romans 8 by heart. I was super whiny about how quickly he was able to memorize the first four verses, because at the end of the day I was still fumbling around which law and which part of the trinity went where. It wasn't until yesterday that I could really recite the first four verses with confidence.

In my three years of walking with the Lord, I'm somewhat embarrassed to say that I've never attempted to memorize Scripture before. And why the heck not? Well, for one-- it takes a lot of effort. For most of us, it's not something we can just hash out in one sitting. It's a process that once begun, will continue to follow us around all day long-- while we're cooking, cleaning up around the house, and even driving in our car. But the process is what gives those miniscule tasks eternal worth.

John Piper gave a list of reasons in his article "Why Memorize Scripture?" as to why we should memorize Scripture. They are:

Conformity to Christ
Daily Triumph over Sin
Daily Triumph over Satan
Comfort and Counsel for People You Love
Communicating the Gospel to Unbelievers
Communion with God in the Enjoyment of His Person and Ways

What about y'all? Is Scripture memorization something you do as a regular devotion? Do you have any tips or suggestions to share with the rest of us?

And if you're a novice such as I am, I'd REALLY love to invite you to memorize Romans 8 with me! I sent B. a video over Facebook yesterday of me reciting the first four verses once I had them down, and the encouragement I got back from him was so edifying. Y'all need to do this, seriously.

So, if you're up for the challenge, grab a friend, start memorizing and celebrate with one another one verse at a time! Leave a comment if you're serious about tackling this, and I'll be sure to pray for you-- as well as check in to see how you're doing. If you're a flashcard person, the links below will allow you to download and print some out. Sound good?

Happy memorizing, bloggums! :)

Romans 8 Flash Cards

Romans 8 First Letters

this weekend and last

2011-09-26T23:36:00.005-04:00

A trip to Atlanta and a coming down with the flu/cold was my weekend. The trip to Atlanta = great. Getting the flu = not so great. This evening, YouthQuest led worship for the department of Ministry Team's 'All-Team Meeting.' When I wasn't singing, I was coughing. Like, a lot. If you heard the ruffling of a paper bag during the message, that was me-- reaching in for another Halls. I apologize for my sick, disturbing ways.

Despite my ailments and a bunch of technical difficulties, the evening went pretty great. The YQ band is getting tighter and tighter every practice. We've come such a long way since the beginning of the semester and I'm so thankful that God has blessed us with such a faithful team. This weekend will be our first weekend traveling!
I. am. so. excited.

Do y'all have any fun plans this weekend?

a plan

2011-09-22T01:50:00.042-04:00

Monday night Brandon and I went on a double date with our married friends Charles and Stephanie. I got a text from B that morning asking if Olive Garden at 7:30 would work. And in my head I was thinking, "Uh, heck yes, that works. And if it didn't, we would make it work." Because let's face it: there is no way I'd ever pass up a free-to-me meal of bread-sticks, marinara sauce, and chicken Gnocchi soup. No. WAY.

So here's the thing: I'm not sure if I've ever really told y'all the story of how B and I met. And that's unfortunate, because it's a pretty good story. One of my favorites, actually.

If you've followed my blog since January 2010, then you might remember when I went to Passion the week before I came to Liberty University. Well, that's when I met Brandon, Charles, and Steph.

My friend Annie and I decided one morning that we would divert from our group of friends and attend the morning session solo so that we could meet some new people. Out of 22,000 seats to choose from, Annie ended up sitting next to B, B's sister, Charles, and Steph that morning-- calling me afterward to tell me all about how she met a group from Liberty and how the two guys lead worship for Liberty's Campus Band.

"Annie. You can't be serious, because that's not fair."

"Ahhhhh, I know! But I told them all about you!"

I was distraughtly jealous. In only nine days I was about to move my little behind down to Lynchburg, VA where I knew no one. Not a soul. And here Annie, a James Madison student who lives in Harrisonburg, meets my people.

So I sulk a little, then rebuke myself and move on-- but in some small corner of my heart I found myself asking God if I could meet them too.

That evening, Annie and her brother invited me along to the Coca-Cola factory. I gracefully declined and settled into a sofa to work on my bible study, but when I noticed that some people had begun lining up for the evening main session, I meandered over and popped a squat.

So I'm there. Sitting in line. Working on one of Louie Giglio's bible studies on worship. And I'm doing fine until the guy next to me started singing a Matt Redman song. But, it wasn't just any Matt Redman song-- it was the one song I had stuck in my head literally all day until about a half hour before he started singing it again.

"Ugh....you're totally going to get that song stuck in my head."

He laughed. And that was our meet cue.

We talked for a short while before introducing ourselves, until we finally put two-and-two together. His name was Brandon and he went to Liberty and studied worship. My name was Chelsea and I was getting ready to transfer into Liberty to study worship. And then it hit me.

"Wait, do you lead worship for Campus Band or whatever it's called?"

He laughed a nervous laugh as if he were embarrassed, then shook his head yes.

"So, you're the same Brandon that met my friend Annie this morning?"

He looks at me. Dumbfounded.

"You're that Chelsea?!"

It wasn't love at first sight or anything, but I knew that wasn't the last I'd see of Brandon Sharp. And nine days later when I moved to Lynchburg, I got to see him again. And the rest is history. Sort of.

So all of that to say, bloggies-- the other night as Charles, Steph, Brandon and I had dinner, it wasn't just a reunion of sorts-- but a beautiful reminder of how sovereign and detailed God's plan is for our lives. I forget that sometimes, even when my best friend stands as a daily reminder of that truth.

God has a plan.

B, thanks for letting me write about you.

seis meses

2011-09-12T13:58:00.035-04:00

I've never been one to celebrate monthiversary's, but somehow B and I ended up celebrating them. On our first month he showed up at my door with a single, pink rose. The next month, two. The next, three. And the tradition just stuck. Finally this week, I have a half dozen roses on display-- as well as a venti-sized Starbucks cold cup and a 17-minute piano instrumental track he recorded just for me. He's seriously the most thoughtful, most talented person I know.

I ended up making him some string art to hang up in his office at Liberty-- inspired by an artist I found on Etsy. I bought a wood mount at Michaels, stained it a dark walnut color, then nailed an outline of the state of Georgia onto it, filling it in by wrapping jewelry wire from one nail across to the other, and then somehow configured a heart out of nails and wire to mark Atlanta-- the place we met. I brought him into the dining room where I had it hanging on the wall, covered his eyes, and when I had him facing it, I took my hands away and the first thing he said was, "a frog??"

I don't know. Maybe it does look like a frog-- but at least he loved it once I explained what it was. I could hear him out in the living room examining it, exclaiming a "huh!" and a "you're so creative!" every now and again. He's cute.

After exchanging gifts, we settled in and spent the rest of the day watching LOST while drinking homemade cinnamon dolce chai's (another gift to him). We only took a break from the t.v. long enough to make pancakes, eggs, and bacon for dinner, and then back to being lazy we went.

It's great being in a relationship with the right person.
So great.

priorities

2011-08-26T15:59:00.008-04:00

Good day, blog.

I just finished making lunch-- chicken fingers, via Lauren Valle. IN-credible. As a side: dad's green beans. It's a brilliant combination.

Jack is laying on top of the couch looking out the window; I'm still in the LU yoga pants and tee I slept in last night. No make-up, eyes are puffy, hair is barbaric, and my body-- a little more toned thanks to Jillian Michaels. I'm waiting for the right moment to make a Pumpkin Spice latte as I sit in this orange chair-- blogging, thinking, and praying.

I'm hurt today, y'all. And even still, the Lord leads me to still waters.

Sometime last year, when B and I were just friends, he wrote me a letter that said, "It's through other people's failures that you are shown the Lord's faithfulness, and for that, I am grateful." It was one of those letters that you hold onto. Like, forever. Timeless, because of the truth that was written into it. Today, that truth follows me around the house. Not only reminding me of our sinful nature, but of how holy, loving, and patient He is with us.

I think we all realize the reality of our nature in that we're always going to want to put ourselves first. We'll care more about ourselves than of our loved ones from time to time-- and they're going to do the same to us. It shouldn't be this way, but by His grace we can repent of it and fulfill the two greatest commandments: loving the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our mind, and with all our strength, and loving our neighbor as ourselves.

I do plenty of putting myself first. Most of it probably without even realizing it. But y'all, there's no other time I'm more aware of my selfishness and how I've hurt others than when I've been the hurt-ee.

I can understand how God may feel when I say that I love Him, yet I don't make Him a priority in my life. How He may feel when I deliberately choose other things over Him. And even still, He's there for me, being patient with me, loving and forgiving me-- and after all of this, I can see not only how I've neglected Him, but how desperately I need to be more like Him. Sometimes, being hurt is the most healing.

He must become greater-- and I, less. My family, friends, roommates, and boyfriend must become greater-- and I, less. I am incapable of loving them the way God has called me to if I'm not loving Him first.

Do any of y'all know what this is like? How in being hurt, you then see how you yourself have hurt God and others? How do you choose to make Christ a priority in your day-to-day life? And can you see a difference in the way you love others when you do?

I'd love to hear your thoughts,

"shtuff"

2011-08-25T15:44:00.024-04:00

Life back home.
It is, for a lack of better words-- lovely.

I'm currently in my new living room, sitting as close to the window as possible, trying to pick up YMCA's internet from across the street. Verizon's recent strike has left us internet-less. And so, here I sit by the window. "Borrowing."

I guess the only "exciting" news I have as of late is the fact that I was a deer over the weekend for our Ministry Team bowling tournament. A doe, actually. And believe-you-me, wearing that fur is not very pleasant when it's 80-90 degrees outside. I've no idea how they survive the summers. All I know is "as a deer pants for water" makes a lot more sense to me now.

Other than YouthQuest shenanigans and a few friends getting engaged, not much else is going on. One of these days I'll actually be able to sit down and write about more personal/spiritual "shtuff," but I don't think I've gotten to the point of being able to share them just yet. I never really know how much is too much share, so naturally I'll just revert to everyday happenings i.e. the deer costume, not having internet, stubbing my toe, etc. I know that there is a time to speak and a time to refrain-- but my nature is totally open book and the refraining part can be tough from time to time. I write because I love it-- I love crafting life into words and words into life. To me, they're one in the same. Whether or not I'm any good at it, I've no idea -- but it helps me see and understand things I wouldn't have otherwise seen or understood. And someday, I imagine, my children will look back on these posts and get to know who their mom was at their age-- the good, the bad, the significant and insignificant. I've never desired that my writing be perfect in nature or in prose, because that's not reality-- and because honestly, there's nowhere to go from there. I know that there will be times when I'll say more than I ought and you'll think I'm complete a heathen and want to stage an intervention and/or give me grammar lessons. But the beauty in weakness is that He is always strong, always good, always right, always loving, and always forgiving. He is what we dwell upon. I'm just a girl. Learning to be obedient to Him as I go.

Strangely, this is one of the only places in the world I feel comfortable enough to be myself in. And I am forever thankful that you let me do just that.

pity party

2011-08-06T14:52:00.006-04:00

Oh, my goodness, y'all. I'm going mad.

Just being here and knowing that I could be home right now drives me nuts. Why is this so dad gum hard?

I don't understand.

I wish I had something else to write about, but I've been a sad case lately. A sad, sad, pathetic, lonely case. And I've vowed that I wouldn't spew sad, sad, pathetic, lonely things around on here, so I guess I'll just go and take my pity party elsewhere. Like to a waffle cone full of Coconut Chocolate-Chip Almond ice-cream.

sigh.

home

2011-08-02T12:18:00.012-04:00

So today is the day I no longer have an apartment of my own. Dad, Chase, and Byrd moved all my things out this morning.

It's sad, really. But I get to move into a new place with two wonderful women of God, where the rent is exponentially cheaper-- and that: I am excited about.

The days are dwindling down here in Spec. Only 8 more days to go before I'm back home with my wonderfully entertaining family, in our small, brick, ranch house, sleeping in until noon and sipping coffee from the Keurig all day long. It'll only be for a few days, but I will cherish them to pieces. As for being here in Spec, well -- there are some things I'll miss. But home overshadows them all. And I don't really believe that wanting to be home so badly is a bad thing. At least, it ceased being a bad thing the moment it ceased being a 'god-thing.' And I'll admit: it was a god-thing for me yesterday. There was nothing anyone could say to convince me to hash it out these last eight days. Well, except for B. And even still, he didn't try to convince me -- he just pointed me to the truth so that I could see it for myself. And the truth is that my home isn't in Speculator, and it's not in the Valley, and it's not in Lynchburg. My home is the Kingdom. And I should take hold of it as much as I can while I can. Invite it here. Manifest it here. Until I can't any longer. Until I'm face to face with the King and the Kingdom myself.

Until I'm home.

Dear friends, I urge you being aliens and strangers in this world, to abstain from
the desires of the flesh, which war against your soul.

-1 Peter 2:11

oh, shenandoah i long to see you

2011-07-31T12:15:00.003-04:00

happy saturdayz

2011-07-30T15:20:00.010-04:00

Happy Saturday y'all!

This week went by pretty quickly and I'm thankful for the day off. Normally, we'd be trying to get the heck out of Speculator and go to Saratoga, but a lack of money in tha bank (thanks to this beautiful, oh-so-amazing MacBook) prohibits me from doing so. B is tied up with making tracks for Campus Band so I'm left to entertain myself all day...which hopefully will look something like this:

- Study 1&2 Samuel and Psalms
- Call friends and family
- Go to the lost and found and see if Hunger Games is there (I left it at the Tee-Pee the other day and now it's MIA)
- Laundry
- Read 'Catching Fire' by the lake
- Wash my hair at least twice (I'm trying to fade my color because I've yet to find a hairstylist who can actually achieve what I want)
- Take my first Photo Booth pic

A good day to you bloggies!

the switch

2011-07-29T15:25:00.037-04:00

"Soooo....

.....you wanna switch?"

B leans onto the counter, sporting an adorable smirk and batting his thick, dark, glossy lashes at me. It was another normal night at the Tee-Pee; I was on register and B was on scoop. And he wanted to switch.

Now, my first instinct was "of course I'll switch with you" -- because naturally, I like him more than I like being on the register. But then I remembered that he didn't switch with me a couple weeks ago when I asked, so out of spite--I told him no.

He took it graciously, walked away, and I just stood there. Repaying him with evil. And feeling a little proud that I had hurt him. But then I realized I was standing there alone-- knowing that that was the most selfish thing I could ever think or do. Probably even more selfish than if I had just told him no on account of me really not wanting to switch. But that I told him 'no' simply out of spite?-- that like, quadruples the selfishness.

It wasn't long before I caved and called B over to the register.
"Babe! Take the register. Go!"

He smiled this coy little smile of gratitude and all of that selfishness I had harbored up, in an instant, turned into joy.

And I'm sure.

I'm sure that holding on to the things of this world only keeps us from the best of things. The heavenly things. The things that last well beyond this life. That every sacrifice we make is wrapped up into the only sacrifice big enough to save us.

No sacrifice can compare with Christ's, but every one-- no matter how big, no matter how small, is significant.

"do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

philippians 2:3-4

love,

finally, i see the light

2011-07-26T15:37:00.003-04:00

To be fair-- I saw it years ago, but now I can afford to actually go into the light.

So long PC, hello MACBOOK!
It's been real.

how i feel about this book

2011-07-21T16:27:00.000-04:00

a chance

2011-07-20T00:27:00.017-04:00

In some distant memory, I do recall myself hating it here. The reddish-purple marks left by the bug bites I received while hiding in the bushes crying reminds me of it. They're so annoying to look at.

Yesterday morning B and I woke up early and met each other at the beach. It was windy and overcast, but it was still peaceful, somehow. Both of us have been trying to make our way through Isaiah by reading a chapter a day for 60 days. It was really his idea, I'll give him credit, but I really wanted to jump on board as well. Moreover, I wanted to be able to talk about it together. He's a good one to talk to.

One of my roommates left this morning, so I got to move down to the bottom bunk, which I'm grateful for. It's a lot cooler down here. And my feet won't blister from climbing up the side of the bunk 50 times a day anymore.

Okay, okay-- so more like 10.
Maybe 5.

It's all relative, really.

I spent a half-hour making my bed and arranging the lamp, the fan, my computer charger, and my phone charger to my liking. All of which are plugged into an outlet might I add--the outlet I had on the top bunk, and now the outlet down here. I also inherited the two drawers on the bottom and some more hangers. Everything has a place now, and I love it. But I also feel kind of guilty. Should I? It wasn't even an hour after she left that I moved down here...

..I just know what I want, I suppose.

My classes are over and I'm proud to say that God got me through them, and with A's nonetheless--which is com-PLETELY out of character for me. So to celebrate my new gained freedom and academic successes, I treated myself to a few Amazon purchases:

I, Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias (he spoke here at Camp-of-the-Woods last week),

Desiring God by John Piper,

and a little fiction action--

Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (I've heard really great things).

It’s been forever since I’ve actually gotten to select my own reading material. And my afternoons have been bliss.

Our band 'True North' played at Battle of the Bands this past Saturday and somehow we ended up winning $500. B took me to Amsterdam for a reeeeeally nice dinner where I had stuffed Maine lobster. ‘Nuf said.

Afterward, we made a Wal-Mart trip and then went to see Transformers 3--the first movie we've seen together since we were in Atlanta. Sour Patch Kids were consumed. Somehow.*

*Last week, a group of our kids took on the role of “candy-man” for True North and they would bring us big bags full of Sour Patch Kids every day. They were awesome. I still have a bag left.

After working at the Tee-Pee this evening (which is really just one huge sauna at the moment) B grabbed my hand and steered me toward the beach. My heart melted at the gesture, because usually we’re both so tired that we mindlessly head straight back to our dorms. Nothing was different tonight, both of us were equally tired, him even a little sick— but he took me to the beach. And it meant the world. In the past four months, I’ve realized that [one of] my love language[s] is definitely quality time. We don’t really have to do anything, or even talk necessarily. Just sitting on a bench under the night sky, overlooking the mountains and the lake with his arm around me is quite substantial.

So like I said-- in some distant memory, I recall hating it here. But now that I’ve been here for 4, going on 5 weeks, I do believe that I’m growing quite fond of little’ ole Speculator.

A chance was all it took.

Thanks for praying for me, bloggies!

camp-of-the-woods: week four

2011-07-17T15:34:00.002-04:00

Hey there blogosphere! I have some pictures for you!

a happy fourth

2011-07-09T21:42:00.023-04:00

Confession: I missed the fourth of July due to Tee-Pee duty. And no, blogsters -- I'm not referring to toilet paper.

The "Tee-Pee" is actually the name of the ice-cream shop I work at every evening. I get to wear a cool hat and put up with grumpy old men. It's fun. But it has not dawned on me until just now as to why they might call it the "Tee-Pee":

Yes? No? Am I imagining things?

Well, despite my devastating hang-up at the prime hang-out spot in Speculator (lovingly referred to as "Speck"), I did get to celebrate another fourth that I happen to be very fond of. And it conveniently happened to occur today on my day off.

But listen y'all: you can't "awww" or gag or roll your eyes, okay? Because all I'm doing is stating a fact. Just a plain, simple, fact...

....that today is four months of being B's girlfriend.

I'm sorry!--but I really couldn't keep it inside. I'm elated. And not just because I'm dating my best friend and it's the longest/best relationship I've ever had, but because in honor of our four "month-a-versary," he drove me all the way to Saratoga to the nearest B&N (which is a grueling hour and a half away), took my hand, and led me straight to the Moleskine display where the two most beautiful words I have ever heard him say flew through the air: "Pick one."

Pick one?! Oh, happy day.

B, you're my hero.

Let's have a month-a-versary every month, k?

I'll put it in my Moleskine.

i'm not a wife

2011-07-08T00:59:00.004-04:00

...but when that time comes, i want to be ready for it.
i love this sermon by Mark Driscoll.

"watch your life and your doctrine closely."
-1 timothy 4:16

p.s.
<-- i really need one of these.

cray-cray

2011-07-04T20:07:00.015-04:00

I haven't done anything these past couple days as far as school is concerned. Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed that I find myself paralyzed to even start anything, let alone finish anything. This predicament is nothing new (thus why I am going into my sixth year of college...), yet I think I might be showing some progress towards diligence. It's just an extremely slow process....

...just as finishing all of this is going to be:

-a ten page research paper on Paul's argument for justification through faith
- a four page paper on the "I Am"s
- some worldview paper I haven't even looked at yet
- two tests
- two quizzes
- a discussion board post
- and four discussion board replies

college. is. fun.
(sense the sarcasm?)

Among other things, my ankles and legs are covered in bug bites--because like an idiot, when I really needed to let it all out, I refused to go to my room and cry infront of my roommates. Instead, I decided to plant myself in some bushes by a horseshoe pit filled with sand at 11pm at night whilst wearing shorts and sandals. Hence the bug bites. Hence my idiocy.

And another thing I found out:
my medicine is the wrong medicine and it's making me crazy. Literally. Crazy.

Which would explain my bad attitude, bad attitude, bad attitude, obsessive crying, reclusiveness, and depressed state of being. It's the PMS that never ends. And y'all-- it's terrible.

But don't fret blogsters, I'll be back to normal here soon.

To all you crazies out there:
-don't make any rash, life altering decisions
- don't cry in the bushes
-check to make sure it's not your drugs making you cray-cray.*

*Rx drugs, of course.

deprived&distracted

2011-06-30T16:32:00.001-04:00

it's 4:30pm on a thursday afternoon.

everyone on teen staff is playing capture the flag with the kids and eating cupcakes.

me?

well, I should be writing my research paper.
but I'm not.

obviously.

-C

how much more?

2011-06-29T13:33:00.079-04:00

Every Monday through Friday at 8am, Teen Staff has devotions. Camp serves breakfast at 7:15, but honestly in the grand spectrum of things, I would much rather have thirty more minutes of snooze time than I would a waffle. Call me crazy, but my morning routine is actually a brilliant one; and the secret is:

::dun, dun, dun::

sleeping in.

My three roommates get up around the same time so they end up having to take turns with the shower, the bathroom, the mirror, the outlets, etc.. What I've come to find is that if you're the last one to wake up, they're all at breakfast, and you end up getting:

a) the benefit of more sleep and
b) an entire room all to yourself to walk around naked in.*

This is genius, genius stuff.

So, this morning at our Teen Staff devo, we read a couple chapters of Romans straight through (well, I actually just listened because I'm super Christian and forgot to bring my Bible -- go me) and as I was sitting there listening, a couple verses in chapter six suddenly hit me inbetween the ~~eyes~~ ears:

"⁹ Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! ¹⁰ For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹ Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

I don't know about y'all, but when I've been on my last and final string, I rarely think back to: "that while we were dead in our sin, Christ died for us." I mean, I try to think about that-- but if I'm being honest, most of the time I just end up reverting back to things like this:

- "Are you sure you're even a Christian?"

- "AGAIN? You seriously failed AGAIN?"

- "Just give up now, dude."

and my favorite:

- "you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck..."

I wish I were exaggerating.

I am slowly, most times impatiently, learning to replace those lies with truth--
because here's the kicker:

If we were DEAD when Christ reconciled us to Him, how much MORE is He going to reconcile us to Himself now that we're ALIVE in Him?

We were in complete darkness--with no ability, no power, no strength, and no understanding of our own, and then Christ came into the picture, breathed His Spirit into us, and saved us. We never even knew how hopeless we were until we found hope in Him, and now that He's claimed us, we often times don't even realize how hopeful we should be.

Y'all, at the end of the day, I think that this is something that a lot of us as believers "know" but don't necessarily "understand" or come to grips with; and it's simply that our lives aren't supposed to feel like a losing battle anymore. We have Him and His help now. He will not leave us wanting or lacking, and He will not let us remain as we are. Our sin shouldn't discourage us any longer, because His promise is so sure:

"that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

How much more will He lead us in the way of everlasting now that we're His?
My guess is, more than we even realize.

*Sorry if the naked comment made you feel awkward.

funk

2011-06-27T18:46:00.019-04:00

Ever have a dream that just left you in a funk the next day?? I'm talking residues, people. Residues of something that's not. even. REAL.

I've woken up from dreams that I've had about B, totally mad at him for something he didn't actually do. Then I'll have dreams that he did something really sweet and wonderful and I wake up super giddy. The poor guy is probably so confused.

Last night I had a dream that my aunt accidentally chopped off her hand and I called Mark Driscoll.
(Your guess is as good as mine.)

This is how it played out:

::ring::

"911. What's your emergency?"

"Wait - is this Mark Driscoll?"

"Suuuure is. Can I help you?"

"No wayyyyy! Okay, so first off, I just have to tell you that I absolutely LUH-HUV your sermons. Secondly, my aunt needs an ambulance right away - she chopped off her hand. By accident of course."

"Totally! If the hand was cleanly severed, go ahead and stick it in the freezer and an ambulance will be there shortly."

"Oh, right - yeah, yeah of course!"

::click::

I'm sorry - but, what the heck kind of dream is that?

Then there was this other dream I had last night that consisted of me holding this girl that I kind-of-know-sort-of-know in real life. She had broken down at the sight of me, as if I had something to do with her pain. In reality, I'm not sure if this is actually the case or not, but in the dream, I felt so much for her. I just sat there with her, and held her, and brushed her hair, and told her that I was sorry over and over and over again.

And today, I just can't get her off my mind.
Maybe this was the Lord's way of pressing me to pray for her.

What do you all think? Weird, huh?

Anyways, this camp-employee is starvin'.
Do me a favor and don't handle any sharp objects today.

-C

in the stars

2011-06-27T00:34:00.026-04:00

"Those stars are...
...ridiculous."

And they were. Absolutely ridiculous.
I couldn't help but stare at them. Everyone else around the bonfire was singing worship tunes and praying -- you know, being all spiritual and what-not. A few were laughing and joking around, but all I did was look up; and I was amazed.

And isn't that just as important sometimes? To just be. And to let Him be. Sometimes I feel like we try so hard to coerce God into coming down to us by attempting to create or force an emotional, spiritual experience - when in reality, He's already here. He's in us. And He's all around. All the time.

Lately my motto for worshiping God has been simple:
Just go with it.

If being flabberghasted (yeah ---I just said "flabberghasted") over the fact that He spoke each and every star into existence AND He gave each and every one a name, if that makes someone recognize His greatness, then that's exactly the kind of worship they should be participating in.
Please don't get me wrong-- for someone else, it could have been the prayers, the worship songs, or even the kiddin'-around-ness. And I think that is what encourages me the most about worship: that even when we've failed at showing His glory, something else has succeeded. There is too much to Him; too much to feel bad about the fact that something went horribly wrong with the sound for my mic, guitar, and monitors at Staff Fellowship tonight. I mean, we're talkin' cover-your-ears-and-shudder material. I would say that I was flabberghasted at the awfulness, but I've already used that word already.

Ya'll, what I'm getting at is simply that we can, and should, worship God in practically everything we choose to see, hear, read, say or do - and tonight, for me: His glory wasn't in the music -- it was in the stars. And earlier today, it was in a serving of french-fries.

So like I said: practically everything.

"For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen."

-Romans 11:36

-C

such things

2011-06-25T13:17:00.008-04:00

Wow. Where to begin.

I have a boyfriend, which you probably know by now - but I haven't mentioned it on my blog at all since we happened, so here's me officially catching you up.

And now on to the past two weeks...

1) My little brother’s graduation, but let’s not talk about it because it’s weird and makes me feel entirely too old.

2) Brandon (boyfriend, whom I often refer to as "B") and I getting the same stomach virus at the same time:

(text)
Me: "Babe…can you bring me some pepto?"
B: "I’m sick in bed and feel like I’m about to throw up…"

All my hopes of a settled stomach shattered.

3) Getting my apartment ready for move out. I boxed up as much as I could in a day, then Byrd and B came over to help me prime the walls. I didn't cry once. Praises.

4) B came over to my apartment the next day for some anti-nausea medicine. He was white as a sheet when he walked in the door, so I made him lay down and retrieved a “puke bucket” for him. As I was in my closet packing up, I all of a sudden heard niagra falls. Puke bucket = brillant idea. Chucking the entire bucket into the dumpster afterward = an even more brillant idea. Some things just aren’t worth rescuing.

5) That same day, we left for Roanoke. We were able to eat some dinner and keep it down, thank goodness. The next two days were a riot. We taught ten middle schooler’s six worship tunes for a training camp we were teaching at the Church of the Holy Spirit (the same church that sent me to Passion 2010 where I met B). B taught the music, I taught the singers, then we came together and had a night of worship with all of their family and friends. ‘Twas…interesting. :)

6) When the evening was over, B and I drove to New Market and stayed at my parents house which saved us 2.5 hours of drive time. We left the next morning at around 8:30am and at around 4:30pm, we arrived in Speculator, NY.

So, all in all - a lot of great things, and a lot of not-so-great things (puke bucket, anyone?).

And this is where I have been: battling the great things with the not-so-great things. Like the fact that while it is gorgeous here, a part of me would still rather be in Virginia where it’s both beautiful and there’s a Starbucks and a movie theatre right down the road. I’m battling the fact that while I love leading worship, I am not up-to-par with the rest of the band musically and that’s discouraging; chord charts were once close friends of mine but apparently they couldn’t make the trip up.

But more than all of this, I’m having the hardest time battling a bad attitude, a bad attitude, and a bad attitude.

I’ve either cried or wanted to cry every day since we’ve been here, and I honestly couldn’t even put a finger on it as to why. I really miss home, and I really miss normal. I miss being able to spend time with B - enjoying fun, relaxing, quality, him-and-me time; i.e. going on dates and watching movies and cooking dinner together. Everything looks and feels different now that we’re here, and I guess it sort of caught me off guard. I ended up sitting down with him on a park bench and bawled my eyes out like a crazy, insecure, needy girl, whining about how he basically ignored and avoided me all day (I may have exaggerated a little). Let’s just say he’s made more of an effort to show me some affection since then, and only God knows why. I would’ve ran in the opposite direction and left my whiney self in New York.

So needless to say, he’s been a real sport. I resent the fact that he’s seen me cry more this week than he’s seen me cry the entire year and a half we’ve known each other, but I’m thankful - more than thankful - to be with someone who can handle me at my worst.

(I at least hope this is me at my worst.)

So here is what I’m learning: my attitude and perspective is a choice. I’ve been having to surrender each and every insecurity, every negative thought, every mood swing, every tear, and every momentary breeze of homesickness over to Christ and exchange it for Him, His Word and all the good things about this summer. It’s been difficult, but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be, because If I could do it on my own, I wouldn’t need Him, and then I’d be missing out on everything that’s worth knowing and worth becoming. It’s a season to spread my wings, try new things, meet new people, grow in Christ, forgo chord charts, and cherish every here-and-there hand hold with B as if it were the best thing in the world, because in this season - it is :)

I’m choosing to think about such things - but I’ll still need some serious prayer.

(Now would be a good time.)

”And finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8

x&o's,
-C

ministry teams

2011-05-06T17:44:00.004-04:00

After a year and a half of being here at Liberty University and trying out for ministry teams, God generously placed me onto a team! I'm stoked to say that this fall, I will be singing and playing my little heart out for the worship band of YouthQuest. It's a ministry team comprised of 20 members, sectioned up in three ways, all sharing the same passion: to love Christ and to love His children by way of worship, creative arts, and discipleship. We'll travel 8-10 weekends out of each semester and have our spring tour in FLORIDA! You guys, I can't even tell you how excited I am to meet the people we're destined to meet on these trips. What a blessing and what an honor it is to be able to serve God and His people in such challenging (yet, super cool) way! I can't wait.

character versus comfort

2011-03-17T04:41:00.009-04:00

It’s almost four am here in Lynchburg.

I laid my head down at 12:30, then I fell into that weird in-between stage between being asleep and awake. That place is the worst.

I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I tried fluffing my pillows and putting my down comforter in between my legs to keep my knees from knocking together. I felt completely comfortable physically (I have the most amazing bed ever), but spiritually, mentally, emotionally, I was getting ambushed.

I got a call this morning from a debt collector. It wasn’t anything ostentatious, just a hospital bill from when I went to the ER last semester for strep throat (I tried calling out of work the night before, but my then-boss said she was going to fire me if I didn’t show up to work that morning at 4am with a doctors excuse).

I thought I paid the bill last semester, so I double checked my bank statements, and sure enough there was a check to Centra for $110. But the debt collector said that was separate from the $125 bill she had. The $110 was only for the room. The $125 was for the actual doctor. It would have been cheaper just getting fired.

So, needless to say – that set me back some (as did the $570 it took to fix my car the other week).

With money on the mind, I started looking into borrowing money for classes this summer. So I called financial aid to see how much I could borrow, and let's just say it never goes as expected and it always puts me in a bad mood. College is so darn expensive!

At this point, I'm just depressed. Seriously. So I went into work at 6:30, worked until 10:30, picked up a shift for this morning from 9am-3pm, and signed up for four extra hours to my already 8-hour workday on Saturday, where, for every extra two-hours I work, I'll earn a $10 giftcard to Sheetz. Gas money, hello.

I might be a little bitter that I won’t get to go home earlier today or be able to stay longer on Saturday, but you know – you just have to do what you have to do to avoid a visit from the repo man.

I know that God has me right where He wants me - even if that place has me up to my eyebrows in debt. But sometimes for that very reason (and this is just my flesh speaking), I resent it. How on earth am I going to be able to do this whole adult-life thing after college? What kind of job am I going to get that will allow me to pull rent all by myself, bills all by myself, and these student loans all by myself? How in the world is this going to be worth it?

Oddly enough, the most comforting thing I heard today was that God cares more about our character than He does our comfort.

I'll be shutting up now.

-C

Apartment Five-Oh-Eight

2011-03-14T15:52:00.017-04:00

My apartment continually keeps getting...um...updated.

When I'm not working or studying or playing music at Brentwood, I'm busy decorating and rearranging and dreaming about decorating and rearranging. There are three coats of paint on the walls from my tenancy alone and a ton of nail holes in the walls. When the day comes to move out, I'll throw a party where we'll all celebrate by priming and spackling and sanding. Sounds like a good time, right?

Sniffle, sniffle.

Thrift store keyholder turned spool holder!

Camel colored suede and dark-grey faux-fur fabric from
JoAnn's made the perfect pillows!

My dream couch! I found it at the Estate Specialist downtown for $150!

Okay - so I got a little carried away with the chalkboard paint...so what?

Happy nesting!
(the non-expecting kind)...
-C

Brentwood Love

2011-02-16T23:20:00.006-05:00

Nugget 'O Wisdom

2011-01-30T16:47:00.001-05:00

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

- Jim Rohn

Pondering

2011-01-22T06:40:00.001-05:00

This a.m. I woke up pondering the idea of what to do after college. After talking with my German professor yesterday after class, I've decided to look into the possibility of teaching English...

...in Germany.

Back to staring at the ceiling,
-C

The Lucky Ones

2011-01-14T06:23:00.001-05:00

At 5:43, my waking thought:

The right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing.

Oh, but they're the lucky ones. At least it was right in some respect.

Back to staring at the ceiling.

-C

A First Time For Everything

2010-12-25T19:59:00.003-05:00

I'm home. And home means a ton of food, bizarre (hilarious) conversations at the dinner table, and opportunities for domestication.

I stuffed a turkey today.

Merry Christmas!

-C

Starting Somewhere

2010-12-22T15:09:00.011-05:00

I totally believe in second chances. There's just something rewarding about fixing things up and breathing new life into them. Even in the midst of a quarter-life crisis, this silly notion remains in the back of my head that someday (when I'm out of college) I'll start my own business selling modern, one-of-a-kind pieces of reupholstered furniture.

(I guess the first step would be learning how to reupholster furniture.....hmmm).

Well! You know what they say: "Ya gotta start somewhere."

Here's my first humble attempt at a leather office chair my roommate found by the dumpster the other night. One small step at a time.

-C

A Cozy Little Reminder

2010-12-18T15:31:00.000-05:00

for those of us whose hands are always cold.

letterpress note by Carissa Potter

the End

2010-12-08T18:10:00.008-05:00

At 4:20 I was putting the final touches on a research paper that was due at 5. At 4:25 I grabbed my coat and ~~walked~~ ran out the door of my apartment. At 4:30 I went to the office at my apartment complex to print it off, but the printer was broken. At 4:50 I was at Towns attempting to print it off there, but the printer was faculty only. At 4:53 I was running across the street to DeMoss to print it off at the library, but every computer was occupied. At 4:54 I was groveling. At 4:55 someone finally let me use their computer. At 4:56 I was stapling my paper together. At 4:57 I was running back across the street to Towns and pulled a muscle going up the stairs while humming the theme song to Rocky in my head (not kidding). At 4:58 I turned in my paper. Dr. Croteau lauged at me until 5. He was still laughing as I limped down the hall.

I am so glad this semester is over.

-C

Quarter-life Crisis

2010-12-02T20:49:00.009-05:00

I feel defeated.

By Joe, that's exactly what it is. Defeat! I've been sitting around trying to hash out whatever it is I'm feeling into a blog post or through music to figure it out, and there it is. Defeat.

School. Relationships. Life in general. It's all a sad country song really.

Okay, so I exaggerate.
It's really not that bad.

And that's the thing. Life is not bad. Not at all. Minus the fact that I am having some serious quarter-life crisis. I've contemplated all day long on whether or not to change my concentration or not, but alas I've decided to stick with Biblical Studies (much to my demise). I just want out of college. I am so done. Stick a fork in me. Done, I say.

I want to learn how to cook and sew really well. Hone some decent song-writing skills, learn some German and then move to Germany for a few years. I want to host house dinners and help plant a church. Learn how to play the piano, record an EP, go on tour. Buy a great camera and take pictures, draw pictures, paint pictures, and then hang them all up in beautiful clusters and collages all over my home. I want to travel. Join the peace corps. Join the army. Anything but stay in college.

All I know is that this is the part where we forget about me ever wanting to get my Masters and phD...
I didn't really mean it.

Quarter-life crisis.
Done and done.

-C

The Aftermath

2010-11-24T02:20:00.003-05:00

Breathing.

I'm sitting here in my darling apartment, curled up on the couch in mom's quilt. Pumpkin-spice and cinnamon are filling the air and Jack is purring in his sleep above my shoulders. I will also bravely mention that there is a beautiful concoction of Cran-Apple, White-Cran-Peach, and 'a little something special' at my left.

Breathing.

There are a million things racing through my head. It's an endless cycle of Merry-Go-Round goin' on in there and I don't think I'll be running out of quarters any time soon. When was the last time anyone actually ever wanted to run out of quarters?

I wish life were simpler, but as I have already established: I'm breathing.
Barely breathing.

I've been so busy that I haven't even had time to sort through things. The aftermath of the craziest two weeks (and the lamest semester of my life) begins now. There was a lot harbored up in there.

-C

Jack Gets a Bath

2010-11-19T10:37:00.001-05:00

Last evening I gave Jack a bath. In all of my years of growing up with cats, I have never had to give any one of them a bath. I mean, cats usually take care of that themselves, ya know?

Well, paint got busted out again last evening here at 508 and Mr. Lewis decided to jump in it.

I think he actually liked it, which just gives me one more reason to believe that he may genuinely think he's a dog. I'm okay with that.

-C

My Favorite Kids

2010-11-10T10:38:00.001-05:00

The first blog I ever posted was about the day I took these kids for a walk with a triple stroller.

We almost didn't make it home. I was (and am) that out of shape.

Needless to say, they've grown like weeds.
I miss them and their mom very, very much.

(I love that Isaac's rocking J. Crew suede MacAlister's...love.)

It was the truest blessing to have been your nanny, Galati kids!
I love you all.

-Chels

Let Men Be Men

2010-11-10T00:33:00.004-05:00

Ladies. Don't be chasing men. It only encourages them to act more like women and it makes you look stupid. I love you. But for real.

-C

Character Calls Forth Character

2010-11-05T12:04:00.000-04:00

Socrates taught Plato. Plato taught Aristotle. Aristotle taught Alexander the Great, way back when he was just Alexander the Average. But Alexander became great through association with the great man. This is how it works. We become like the people we are around. And not because of what they say. But because of what we see them do. - Morris

Character calls forth character.

-Goethe

'Gabriele'

2010-11-04T20:01:00.024-04:00

So, you might know my friend Gabriele by now. We met in Germany on my mission trip last spring and it's been sisterly love ever since. She got married on September 4th of this year and ended up moving four hours away from her family to be with her husband in Wolfsburg. She's 20.

She writes me often about how much she misses her family and her church. It's not easy picking up and having to start over.

I woke up yesterday morning commenting on how much I loved how cold it was in the house. I had a few hours before class, so I sat down and wrote these two verses:

Weight

I feel it in my bones

the early morning cold

Life

looks like a steamy breath

one second I can see it

then it's gone

Then I wanted to try something different and write in third person. Whoa. What a concept. So I just changed the "I's" to "she's" and it was done.

Now the only question was: who was "she"?

I've been in both 1 Timothy and the Book of Ruth lately, so immediately I thought of a virtuous woman. So I decided to write the song in light of how Ruth lost her husband, yet still left Moab to follow Naomi and God to Bethlehem. It couldn't have been an easy thing to do, not knowing what awaited her on the other side.

then your world falls away

and you're in another place

Far away from home

with a strength not of your own

I tried writing a few verse's pertaining to fields and gleaning, but it just wasn't "settling." So I waited a while before picking my pen and guitar back up.

I got a message from Gabi over facebook in the meantime and as soon as I read her message, I knew that the song was about her; everything pertaining to her having to move away and start all over. Thus enters "don't give up now, Gabriele." I wrote the second verse about Gabi's willingness to submit to her husband Daniel, ultimately to God.

Beauty
non-domineering
the bending of a branch in the wind
she'll go where He goes

Then something really unexpected happened:

Today I went to class, and in the middle of the lecture I started writing these random lyrics that ended up being the second chorus. By the end of that chorus, the song took a completely different turn. All of a sudden it hit me that this was a song about my friend Ashlee as well. All of a sudden, I'm waking up on a November morning in Ashlee's shoes and finding my 5-week old son not breathing; I'm walking around aimlessly in Target remembering how my son was with me the last time I was there, and four months later I'm moving to Tampa with my family of three, when it should have been my family of four. So I continued to write the rest of the song specifically with her in mind: adding to the second verse, the second chorus and creating the third and final chorus.

Time
there's never enough
unswerving devotion
and saddening goodbyes

Common day, common scene
but now you're remembering
everything as it once was
Gabriele, don't give up now

....

there's a day
when you will see
all the answers to your questioning
the fruit to your suffering
Gabriele, don't give up now

when the shadows begin to fade
will you kindly reiterate
the smile upon your face
Gabriele, don't give up now
don't give up now

When I checked facebook later today I saw that today was her birthday. Talk about providence.

It's obviously still Gabi's song, just as it is a song about Ruth and Ashlee. It's the song of anyone who has ever let the Lord uproot them and trusted Him in the process. Each one of their stories played a huge part in writing this song and in ministering to me by revealing such a beautiful image of our ever faithful and sovereign God. I'm blessed to have so many examples of Ruth in my life.

Everything we do in obedience to God, no matter how small, is significant.
- John Piper

God always has a way of leading His children to higher ground. He will always guide us. He will always be our common place and our strength. Always urging us on. Always urging us to not give up. Always hiding a smile behind what seems to be a frowning providence.

Gabi and Ashlee,
Thank you for being courageous.
-C

Listen to and see the lyrics for 'Gabriele' here.

Jack in a Box

2010-10-30T11:17:00.001-04:00

The Upside

2010-10-27T11:44:00.001-04:00

Some upsides of being sick:

1) It's an ab work-out.
2) My forty hour week just turned into a six hour week.
3) My Thursday evening is now cleared for band practice.

That's about all I got.

-C

I Think We're Growing Up...

2010-10-14T11:18:00.004-04:00

Cones, Creepin' and College

2010-10-13T23:00:00.032-04:00

I ran over an orange cone in the parking lot last night as I was leaving work. I had no idea it was under my car until it flew out while I was on Enterprise and into a construction zone where it 'just-so-happened' to sit itself straight back up in line with all the other orange cones. Needless to say, it worked out well.

On my way back to work this afternoon, that same cone was on the side of road, sitting on top some sort of electrical unit, displaying its road marks proudly. So okay: it didn't work out as well as I had thought.

I felt somewhat shameful.

Somewhat.

The new job is going very well. I only work 20 hours this week which is split up into three 4-hour shifts and one 8-hour shift. Much to my surprise, I find myself actually enjoying talking to people over the phone - especially when they have British accents. I may or may not have shown some creeper-status symptoms by remembering the name of the British man I spoke with this evening. He ordered an Italian wool Ludlow three-button suit jacket with center vent (size 36) and matching Italian wool Ludlow pant (size 31/32, uncuffed) in heather charcoal.

Ah! I know, I know...so I remembered more than just his name....(he lives in New York City......on Broadway......and he needed his suit over-nighted because he was 'leaving the country'. I might have waived his shipping & handling).

I have a good memory is all. That's all I'm getting at. No Sleepless in Seattle here. Or facebook stalking.
He's probably super lame anyhow.

Moving on.

I had the chance to have a meeting with one of my Bible professors this morning whom I highly, highly admire. We talked about a ton of different things: Greek, hermeneutics, 1 Timothy 2:15, gender roles, teaching, ministry, the differences between 'boys', 'guys', and 'men', dating/courting (oh, semantics), and possible seminary choices (I'm leaning towards Southeastern, but we'll see).

Oh, yeah. We talked about my research paper too.
I'm excited to write it. Yeah. I said it. Excited.

Maybe I can do this whole college thing afterall.

Until next time,
-C

My Recommended Reading for you this week:
Ascertaining Women’s God-Ordained Roles:
An Interpretation of 1 Timothy 2:15
by Andreas Köstenberger

kbye.

A Short Summary and Tautology

2010-10-10T00:37:00.005-04:00

I bombed a Greek exam and failed to turn in a book report.
I also adopted a kitten and worked 30 hours.

My future is growing dim; I can see it fading before my very own eyes. I'm one step closer to becoming that lonely, undesirable, crazy cat lady who buys cashmere for her cat: incompetent when it comes to sustaining any kind of relationship, let alone a romantic one because she flunked out of college and ended up in a call-center 50 hours a week for the rest of her sad, pathetic, feline ridden life.

So, okay: I over-exaggerate.
I also use rhetorical tautology a lot.

I'm exhausted.

-C

My German Friends Again

2010-10-04T11:28:00.000-04:00

Daniel and Gabriele's Wedding Pictures.

Teresa Ann Design

2010-10-03T15:19:00.011-04:00

My mom is one of the most talented and crafty people I know. She always made me the most adorable clothes growing up (dresses with puff sleeves, please and thank you) and when puff sleeves weren't cool anymore, she'd recreate my favorite red carpet dresses for me to wear to homecoming and prom. My bed adorns a handmade quilt she made me years ago out of all the scraps of fabric left over from those childhood dresses (again: handquilted). She knits and crochets the most adorable baby clothes, blankets, and accessories, and lately she's been creating these gorgeous aprons.

SO!

I can't let my mother's talents be confined within the four walls of her house anymore, and with Christmas coming up, it's the perfect time to start taking her talents to the cyber world (trust me, handmade goods are always a hit). I'm still not entirely sure how to do that exactly, but I figured I'd start here.

Introducing Teresa Cline's amazingness...

-C

The Rebound

2010-10-01T17:31:00.007-04:00

Dad called me last night to tell me that the cat he got me for my 10th birthday has been gone since Tuesday evening.

Listen: the last thing I want is for you to think that I'm some sort of crazy cat lady, but I really, really, really loved that cat.

She was my pillow for every single heartbreak I've ever had, and she always knew when I was sick or upset. Every time I'd come home from Lynchburg, I'd pull up the driveway, get out of my car and she'd come running towards me so excited, hardly being able to get out a significant meow.

I knew she didn't have much longer left, but I just hate the thought that she's just out there laying in the woods somewhere. After 12 years, I wish we could've at least buried her. My poor girl.

:(

So now that I've proven how pathetic I am, I might as well embrace it and introduce you to the rebound I adopted today:

I named him Jack after C.S. Lewis, but I fancy that I'll be calling him "Mr. Lewis" a lot as well.

He can't come home with us until they neuter him, so we'll be picking him up on Thursday. I'll probably visit him every day until then.

Like I said. Pathetic.

-C

Sad

2010-10-01T01:06:00.004-04:00

I know that a lot of people aren't "cat" people, in fact, I'm not even really a "cat" person myself...but...

Oh, gosh....

Alright.
So my cat died. And I'm super sad about it. There. I said it.

-C

One of Those Days

2010-09-29T02:09:00.005-04:00

Amazing.

That's really the only thing I can think of right now to describe my day.

It all started with Margaret (Marni) Köstenberger speaking in my women's ministry class about biblical hermeneutics. It was obviously a very condensed lecture seeming as there's an entire semesters worth of information, but it ended up being a good little review. Afterward, I headed on over to North 1500 to lead worship for the girls. Today we sang 'Desert Song' and they all started off extremely disinterested - and when I say disinterested, I mean, they were looking at me as if I were Woody and had just started singing 'This Land is Your Land" ... however, by the third verse they started clapping ON THEIR OWN, and by the bridge and fourth verse they were belting it out and lifting their hands. Some of them were picking their noses, but you know: you can't win 'em all. It was at least rewarding when they caught me looking at them. Seriously, next time you lead prayer for a huge group of people, keep your eyes open while you pray and look around. They think they're in the clear.

Ha.

Dr. Köstenberger got up to teach once more and once class was over, she came up to thank me for leading worship.

And then this happened:

"So do you lead worship anywhere else?"

"Yeah! I help lead worship at Brentwood Church here in Lynchburg."

"Do you ever travel and lead worship for conferences or events?"

"Um, I haven't yet..."

"Would you be willing to? I'd love to have you come lead worship at some of our women's ministry events in Wakeforest."

"Um...

I. would. love. that."

A continuous echo of "God, You're awesome" kept ringing through my head as I thought of actually traveling to North Carolina to lead worship alongside the Köstenberger's teaching. They're top rate scholars. Mark Driscoll even raves about Andreas Köstenberger in his podcasts. Yeah, yeah, I know they're just people: I get that. But they're really, really smart people.

I realize I'm taking a risk at even mentioning it here on my blog because sometimes things just don't work out. But I'm not getting my hopes up.

Okay...so maybe I am getting my hopes up.

But only a little though. ;)

I went on with my day as usual afterward: had lunch at Panera and then hermeneutics with Dr. Croteau (hands down my favorite professor this semester). I came home for a bit, put on a dress and some heels and went to the Distribution Center for my interview...

...and...

...well...

I got hired on the spot.

Turns out that being a manager at McDonald's has paid off. Jargon is such a wonderful thing. :)

For real though: at this time of my life, this is my dream job. They work around my school, band practice and church, it pays really well, my hours are set, I get to sit at a desk, in a cubicle inside a 'mock' store, and I get to talk on the phone and place orders for people with a whole lot of money. The discount and associate sale aren't bad either ;)

It'll be a lot of work: going to school full-time, working part-time, and leading worship here and there, but I feel set. I'm so excited about life.

Oh, and dad gets to come home tomorrow :)

-C

Sunday, Monday, I'm Going to Bed

2010-09-28T00:10:00.005-04:00

The weekend is over and I didn't accomplish a thing (academically at least).

Leading worship at Brentwood yesterday went awesome and being in the middle wasn't as terrifying as I thought it was going to be. It was a blast and my hat even fell off during 'You'll Come' in the 10:45 service. What can I say? We like to rock out hard. I have a ton more to say about this, but I'm too exhausted to do so. Another time I suppose.

Today was a really long day: philosophy test on epistemology, Greek class on 2nd and 1st declension (gag me), two lectures back to back from both Andreas and Marni Kostenberger, and then over to Martha and Beth's for some homemade soup and chit chat.

All in all, it's been a pretty normal past couple of days. The apartment, to no surprise, looks completely different now. A trip to the Goodwill, Michaels, and Lowes were involved.

Oh, and Mom called today to tell me that Dad was in the hospital; I still don't know what for, so if you could, please say a quick prayer for him. My family and I would greatly appreciate it!

I'm going to bed now,
-C

Lipstick and Leading Worship

2010-09-24T14:06:00.037-04:00

For a lot going on, there's not really a lot going on.
It's all pretty typical, really.

Oh, except for the fact that I wear lipstick now - and yesterday, get this: I even wore eyeshadow.
I know.

If I keep this up, soon enough I'll be racin' around Lynchburg in a pink Cadillac sporting who knows what else on my face. Shimmer? Blush? God forbid shimmery blush.

A slippery slope, that make-up.

I've gotta say though, it does make me feel a little older: a little more dignified and put together. Who knew lipstick could do such a thing? I'll tell ya who - Mary Kay Ash: and look where it got her. Genius, genius woman.

::

So I've been leading worship for Dr. Rose's Evangelism class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's made up of 500+ freshmen girls. Fun, right?

Yesterday we sang 'You'll Come' and then went into a few choruses of 'What a Savior'. It was a beautiful 4 minutes. Simply beautiful. The girls were so encouraging before and after I got up to lead worship and a handful came up one by one to let me know how much they appreciated me leading. I've gotta tell you: that really meant a lot to me, so thank you girls.

I think it encouraged me for a couple reasons:

1. Everyone except for those on the front row have no idea what I actually sound like, so when they're thanking me for leading worship, that's exactly what they're thanking me for. They're not saying "thanks for having such a pretty voice". There's no sound system in the classroom besides one microphone, and I've found it to be best used by being held up to the guitar. The most important thing is that they can all hear the music, because without the microphone up to the guitar, I can be playing as loud as possible and the girls on the left and right, middle and back, still can't hear. Not leading vocally makes it semi-difficult if the girls aren't familiar with the melody of the song, but I always encourage the girls who are familiar to sing it out loud so the rest of the class can follow along with them. So far, they've been familiar with the songs (B. Sharp was kind enough to hook me up with Campus Bands' repertoire so I know which songs are being led on campus), and the entire class has become the voice. My voice on the other hand, is usually gone afterwards because I'm literally yelling direction and encouragement in between verses and transitions, but it's so. much. fun.

2. Leading worship isn't really "my thing" - meaning, it doesn't come naturally. Aside from teaching God's Word, it intimidates me more than anything. Sure, I can sing - but singing doesn't equate leading worship. This has been such an interesting learning process in leading: because of the circumstances, I don't necessarily have to sing word for word, therefore, my focus has been more on the actual leading. God is always so brilliant in how He chooses to teach us and grow us. I love it...

...and He's always right on time.

I walked into band practice last evening, swatting off stink bugs as I opened the door, said my usual hellos, and made my way up to the right side of the stage as usual. I sat down my guitar case, got Taylor out, and went to set her on my guitar stand, except there was already a guitar on it: Nic's guitar. I looked at it kind of funny for a second or two, and then headed to the left side of the stage, where I automatically assumed I would be...but there stood Ben, with his amp and guitar.

"Wait. Does that...mean...?"

Yes, it does.
I look to my immediate right, one squinty eye, face all scrunched up, and there stood my empty guitar stand. In the middle of the stage.

I don't know why Nic refuses to tell me these things beforehand.

-C

A Change in Direction

2010-09-12T16:16:00.023-04:00

Evan: Heyyyy! What's up?!?!
Me: Oh, you know...just trying to register things.
Evan: oh dear! Isn't that really hard and confusing?
Me: yyyep.

Most of the time, I try really hard to make these blogs somewhat entertaining. You know: light-hearted and interesting to read. Funny that I care so much because I didn't get a single 'A' on any of my papers for English 202 or American Literature. It took everything in me not to drop those classes and "take them later". Yeah, you know what I mean. Wink, wink.

I feel as if my blog is in a bit of a conundrum.

I started it when I was 20 years-old with the intention of documenting everything preceding my move to Lynchburg: counting down the days, dealing with financial aid, getting my hair chopped off, packing up, moving in, etc.

The purpose of course changed once I got here: I wasn't anticipating it anymore, I was living it. I kinda quit writing as much when I finally got here: most in part because I'm in college and there are a million other things to do like homework (ahem...cough, cough). Before I knew it I was moving off campus and into my own apartment, taking summer classes, serving at Brentwood, dating someone, changing my major, working at the bookstore, not working at the bookstore, not dating someone, not doing homework but instead choosing to write yet again, another pointless post.

Things just, change.

I mean, I even blog about domestics from time to time. Things definitely change. I just wish my posts weren't all so sporadic. I want some sort of direction, but alas, life is sporadic: constantly getting stirred up and shaken around. 'Registering things' is really just a matter of refocusing. My blog is really just about being here in Lynchburg and that can obviously mean a ton of different things at any given moment of time; thus, the need to take a breath and 'register things'.

Whew.

Now that I'm back to being a religion major and back to being single, my blog will yet again, start sounding different. There are new people to introduce you to and new experiences to share. I'll try my darndest to make it all sound as cohesive, as purposeful and as interesting as possible. Not that you probably care either way, but as with everything we do or take on: I'd like it to matter.

I'm here ultimately because Christ led me here. Even though life here continues to keep changing, that much hasn't changed. I know that wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, and whoever I'm becoming, Christ is there.

So: we're going to continue on into a new semester then. I really hope I get a job, all A's, and a puppy.

...Talk about sporadic.

-C

Gabriele

2010-09-09T15:33:00.002-04:00

I'd like to call her my best friend even though we've only spent about a total of four days together. She got married this past Saturday and it absolutely killed me that I couldn't be there in Germany for her on her big day. She's the most beautiful, most genuine and most God-fearing young woman I've ever gotten the privilege to meet and she's such a blessing to my life even half way across the world.

Congratulations Mrs. Diener!

-C

Legitimate Fellowship

2010-09-07T00:21:00.004-04:00

"Love is helping people toward the greatest beauty, the highest value, the deepest satisfaction, the most lasting joy, the biggest reward, the most wonderful friendship and the most over-whelming worship; love is helping people toward God." -John Piper

I've been finding out how truly blessed I am by the people God has put in my life.

I love Lynchburg.

In Order to Have Something to Give

2010-09-03T10:44:00.001-04:00

What if I got a job for the soul purpose of having something to give?

If that were my main motivation in getting and working a job while attending school full-time, I'd make it work. I'm way less apt to work hard if it's merely for myself, but to have the face of a child without food, or education, or family ingrained on my mind - or a woman enslaved in the sex industry ingrained on my heart - a higher sense of urgency would come into play.

Just a thought.

-C

As Clever as You Can

2010-09-01T10:04:00.037-04:00

Every time I open a New Post page, it's because I feel like I have something worthwhile to say, but then when I finally get to that blank page, I....well, blank. It's incredibly annoying.

[Insert C.S. Lewis quote here instead].

Just kidding. I'll try.

I'll go ahead and warn you now that for the rest of the semester you'll most likely be reading a lot of quotes from Mr. Clive Staples (probably due to the very reliable habit I've formed at blanking out and having nothing worthwhile of my own to say). I'm required to read through his entire Signature Classics in my Philosophy class these next four months: so much fun. I'm a week in and already my brain is chock full and I'm finding it hard to let it all "marinate" so-to-speak. We read a couple chapters every night, and every couple chapters is enough to keep me thinking for a solid few days, if not an entire week. As if my mind isn't blown away by Lewis enough, the fact that I get graded for reading his books tears it into imperceptible shreds.

"The proper motto is not 'Be good, sweet maid and let who can be clever,'

but 'Be good, sweet maid, and don't forget that this involves being as clever as you can.'"

-C.S. Lewis

Another class that's blowing my mind right now is my hermeneutics class. I'll never read the Bible or listen to a sermon the same way again. I'm sure what I'm learning will show up in some of my blogs in the future, but for now it's more than I can even fathom to explain.

The more I learn the more I realize I know practically nothing. I feel very much like a child, and while to keep the heart of a child is one thing, obtaining a "grown-up's head" is another: but of course it is best to have both and to try, to best of our ability, to keep it an even race between our heart and our head. In Mere Christianity, Lewis reminds us that Christ tells us to not only be "as harmless as doves", but also to be "as wise as serpents." Our hearts and minds were created to work in tandem, not for one to be neglected and the other to be held superior. Sometimes I think I lack the ability for either one, but if it all begins with a fear of the Lord, therefore to have a teachable spirit as most children ought to have (because I definitely know of some children who have anything but a teachable spirit) - then I'll begin there. And excuse me, but holy crap (!) do I want that to spur me onwards to sharpen whatever intelligence I'm capable of: to be as clever as I can while being as compassionate as I can. We should all want that, lest always be limited and bound into a slavery of sorts: neither knowing the love or the knowledge that we're capable of knowing. What is worser still? Hindering others from knowing it in the same instance, by way of our ignorance in never disciplining ourselves to learn what we can. This is where the kicker comes in for me personally; my children will only know as much about the Lord and His Word and theology and in pursuing righteousness as I do.

...and that gives me a little more incentive as well.

"Anyone who is honestly trying to be a Christian will soon find his intelligence being sharpened: one of the reasons why it needs no special education to be a Christian is that Christianity is an education itself."

-C.S. Lewis

Told you I'd be quoting him a lot.

-C

Failures Forgiven

2010-08-31T18:15:00.001-04:00

"We may, indeed, be sure that perfect chastity - like perfect charity - will not be attained by any merely human efforts. You must ask for God's help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again. For however important chastity (or courage, or truthfulness, or any other virtue) may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul which are more important still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God. We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection."

-C.S. Lewis

A Great Problem to Have

2010-08-27T06:38:00.029-04:00

It's currently 5:35am and the crickets are chirping in tandem with these dreadful AC units that keep kicking on and off at an extremely high decimal. You'd think one would cancel the other out, but nope. I can hear them both. Very well.

I taught myself the Greek Alphabet this morning and I've already been to work and back (sadly I have to go back in at 7:30 and I'm debating on whether or not they'll even realize if I show up again because it'd be worth staying home if they didn't). I'm thinking some C.S. Lewis is up next, or maybe just some good 'ole Genesis, but hopefully I'll fall asleep before I get to choose either.

So how did week one go? Well, for a lack of a better answer, week one has simply left me exhausted (i.e. I just spelled "exhausted" a-c-h-a-u-s-t-e-d and made the past tense of "spell" into "spelt") and I could really use a Sabbath right about now.

Aside from work and classes, Aaron and I got to go to the Snow Shack for a dreamsicle flavored snow cone topped with marshmallow sauce yesterday (which is quickly becoming a custom of ours; I'm sure you're scratching your head as to why). After being sick last week and being so busy this week, something so simple as being able to sit down at a picnic table and relax in his company for a short while was incredible. We had band practice afterward, which, went well, but my voice was pretty out of sorts, which actually means it was REALLY out of sorts. Understandable I suppose considering my tonsils and throat were covered in blisters this time last week but come on, who's making excuses?

I'm just thankful I got sick LAST week.

Side tracking a little bit, but I don't think I ever mentioned what classes I'm taking this semester - so for those of you at home who are interested (ahem, Granddad), the schedule looks like this:

Genesis (BIBL 410)
Philosophy (PHIL 201)
Ancient Greek (GREK 201)
Methods of Teaching the Bible (CHMN 4-something)
Hermeneutics (BIBL 48-something)

The classes are great, but making it to them on time is another story because:

1) It takes me a good 15 minutes to find a place to park because, as a friend of mine has put it, Liberty has a vision to build anything and everything besides more parking,
2) I push my way through flocks of freshman to get on a bus (yes, I totally cut in line and I'm 100% unrepentant about it), or
3) I end up deciding to book it across campus on my own two feet with only 15 minutes to spare in between classes. My asthma is hating me for that one.

During the midst of all of that frustration, I'm dumbfounded because even when I'm struggling to get from North to Towns in time for class, I'm realizing all the while that it's a wonderful problem to have. I'm grateful that the Lord can cut through all of the noise and allow me see what an incredible blessing it is to be in college at all let alone be here. Even when I have to wake up at 3:30am to go to work, it's a great problem to have. Most of the time. ;)

The same concept is even convicting me as I sit in my air conditioned apartment, exhausted, and being pushed to the edge of insanity due to these stupid crickets and the AC units roaring on and off like a freight train. God still cuts through the noise and reminds me that "It's a great problem to have."

I guess I'd have to agree with Him and say that yeah; it's a very great problem to have.

-C

Semester Two

2010-08-22T22:00:00.012-04:00

Tomorrow is the first day of my second semester here at Liberty. It’ll be quite different from the first, considering that it’s a new season and I have a new major - amongst plenty of other things.

I’ll try to keep this short because if I want to survive tomorrow I’m gonna have to. My day begins in six and a half hours (that’s right: 3:30am) for work. I get off at 11 and then I’ll have to jet to class to be there by 11:25 – which, I don’t foresee happening. I have four classes back to back from there on out and I’ll finally be able to leave campus and come home at 3:45. Holy Crap. The only thing that could possibly make it any worse is if I had to wear a size 2XL “Yes I Can Help You Shirt.”

Heh. Scratch that.
Already happening.

Of course I’m being a little dramatic, but it’s warranted. I have no idea how this week is going to pan out, but with the uncertainty comes a whole lot of excitement.

-C

A Must-Read

2010-08-22T10:59:00.000-04:00

This Momentary Marriage
John Piper

Mason Jar Soap Dispenser

2010-08-19T17:14:00.002-04:00

My friend Sarah absolutely loves mason jars. She used them in her wedding and ended up giving us twenty-four of them to take home with us last weekend. We gave twelve to Aaron and then kept twelve, and aside from using them as drink glasses I thought I'd get creative. I hadn't bought a soap dispenser for the bathroom yet - I just haven't been able to justify buying a collection of bathroom counter items that cost around around $10 an item (I'm talking about your soap dispenser, soap dish, toothbrush holder, tumblers..etc.). It can get expensive! Here's an alternative that you can put together yourself without having to go to the store. Yep. That's right people. I'm talking FREE.

I love how the design on the lid ended up outlining the pump perfectly!

What else can you use Mason Jars for? Let me know what you come up with!

-C

More Ch-Ch-Changes.

2010-08-14T22:26:00.006-04:00

SO!

I cook Cajun food now, which I guess was bound to happen at one point or another since I have a boyfriend who grew up in Louisiana... (and because if I didn't, my roommate would dominate for the title of best cook in apartment 508. Mmm. Not acceptable).

...And I apparently make Cajun casseroles out of the leftovers:

Essentially I just took what was left over from our Crawfish boil (Potatoes, Smoked Sausage, Corn, all boiled with Old Bay seasoning) and threw it in a casserole dish. I didn't put any of the leftover Crawfish in there because I wanted to marinate them to make Etouffe for another time (which I have a recipe for) and so not to waste good Crawfish on my first casserole experiment.

After cutting up the potatoes, sausage, and corn, I cut up one small white onion and a green pepper from my dad's garden, added some elbow macaroni, Cream of Celery, Cream of Chicken and some milk. I put a little more Cajun seasoning in there with some Onion Power and garlic and then gave it a generous helping of Sharp Cheddar Cheese and Aaron and I ate it tonight for dinner. As you can see, we pretty much killed it. It was actually amazing, but I guess you can't really go wrong with casseroles. Especially when they're Cajun.

Another change that has my feet hurting all the time is my new job at the Liberty Bookstore. It's actually great, and although it can be tedious sometimes, I don't have to wear a uniform and I don't come home smelling like fried food. Another plus is that I'm surrounded by books, and I get a 25% discount on textbooks for class and 35% off anything on the top floor, including their books, merchandise, and Starbucks coffee :)

It's super exhausting and my body isn't quite used to the 4 a.m. wake up call yet (I work morning shifts which begin at 5 a.m.), but I love it because I get to leave at 10 am and I have the rest of the day to just chill.

Working there has also led me to make another change...

...and that would be my major.

I ended up switching my major back to a B.A. in Philosophy and Religion and I couldn't be anymore excited about the change. Working at the bookstore and seeing all of the amazing books I'd be reading if I were a Religion major made me really bummed, so I ended up switching a couple days ago. I did some math and figured out that it'd take me three years to graduate if I were to stick with the Music degree (I need SIX semesters of choir! Absurd). I have 76 credits so far, which puts me at Junior status. There's no way I'm staying three years just to take choir. Heck. No.

So that's about all that's going on here in Lynchburg. I'll be working six days this upcoming week, but I get tomorrow off, which means I'm heading home to Harrisonburg to see my Aletheia Family. It's been forever.

I miss them.

-C

Something in the Water.

2010-08-04T12:53:00.002-04:00

Good thing: I checked my Liberty e-mail this morning and found out that I got offered that temporary job at the bookstore for the month of August and for the first week of September.

Bad thing: The e-mail was sent on the 26th of July and it is now August 4th. Orientation was the 31st. Fail.

Good thing: Brooke Fraser's new single "Something in the Water."

Bad thing: I now have to demonstrate an insane amount of patience waiting for her album to drop on October 12th. Even worse, I just realized that I probably won't even be able to afford it since I didn't check my e-mail. Check your e-mail, people.

Good thing: Martha's cooking.

Bad thing: She doesn't live with me.

Good thing: Conway Family Reunion this weekend in Clearfield, PA.

Bad thing: I'll keep it to myself, although it may have something to do with not seeing my boyfriend for five days. Lamesauce. Go ahead, make jokes.

-C

The Past Week

2010-07-28T12:51:00.003-04:00

It usually hits me in the mornings when I wake up - that overwhelming ache to be near Him. I tend to lay in bed for as long as possible, contemplating what the day holds as I muster a little prayer that somehow, by the time I lay my head back down that evening, I'd be a little closer to Jesus than I was when I woke up.

I found myself bawling a little while ago as I was praying simply because I was praying. It could be because I'm a girl and we're just classified criers, but it could also mean that I'm beginning to recognize all the more that I'm only reconciled to Him by Him, even in moments like this. It's not of myself, not any ounce of it. Lord knows I can't do anything by myself, not even pray to Him without the pressing, prodding, and provoking of the Spirit. How often I take Him, His blessings, and His pure grace for granted. How thankful I am that He remembers that we're just dust.

For He knows how weak we are;

He remembers we are only dust.
Psalm 103:14 (NLV)

Now, onward to things of late.

Serving at Brentwood has been such a huge honor and blessing. I'm humbled that God allows me to serve at all, let alone with a guitar and microphone. I'm starting to warm up to the crew; it's never really easy being the new kid, but they make it pretty painless. They're just so darn good at what they do and so much fun to serve alongside of and it constantly baffles me that I'm even allowed on stage to play music with such great people/musicians. Nic assures me from time to time that it's for a reason.

I led for the first time two Sunday's ago, a song by Laura Story called "What a Savior." I honestly wasn't that crazy about it when Nic first sent to me, but after a really overwhelming week, God made the song really mean something. We wrapped up the series "Creed" this past Sunday, and I honestly was a little upset that it had to end. It was such an amazing reminder that Jesus Christ is our SAVIOR. So often I refuse His grace and so often I try to save myself and dig myself out of the pits I've made, and yet HE is our soul's salvation, He is our help.

But grow in the grace and

knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

-2 Peter 3:18

On the apartment front, Byrd has been living here for six days and I feel bad because things are pretty boring 'round these parts and AT&T sucks. I'm used to it by now, but Byrd ended up leaving the Harrisonburg crew to come to a new town and has yet to establish any roots here of her own. It'll happen in due time, but in the mean time, I'll try to take care of her as best I can. We painted the sunroom over the weekend and it looks totally cute. I still daze off from time to time staring at the place and planning my next project. Byrd thinks I'm crazy. I think she's crazy when she sweet talks the DVD player to get it to work, but it for real, always works when she does.

We ended up going to Charlottesville on Monday for some Chipotle and Greenberry's and I finally got to visit an Anthropologie for the first time. It was as amazing as I hoping. Aside from the prices, it totally did not disappoint.

I'm actually not feeling very well today, so pray that I get better. Byrd is trying to nurse me back to health with some chicken noodle soup, peppermint tea, and A Walk to Remember. She's the best.

Much love to my family back home. I miss you.
-C

Life in Black and White

2010-07-23T11:40:00.002-04:00

Byrd-Lady is here - and by here I mean, home.

We've been kind of kidding around for a while that once she moved in we would start our own blog entitled, "Life in Black and White." It could have something to do with the fact that she's black and I'm white (but who really notices that kind of a thing?), but the funny thing is, is that the differences go so much further than race.

Exhibit A:

Byrd's side of the closet. My side of the closet.

Exhibit B:

On her browser. On my browser.

....Okay, so maybe it does have to do with race.

-C

A Recap of Spring 2010 in "PIC-tures"

2010-07-05T14:35:00.000-04:00

Waiting

2010-07-02T11:23:00.001-04:00

"If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come."

— C.S. Lewis

The "Big-Girl" in Me

2010-06-29T20:24:00.001-04:00

Keeping house is pretty much one of my favorite things to do. I've gotta say that having my own apartment has unleashed the big-girl in me. I just sat down and made myself a budget, the dishes are clean, the counter is wiped down, the bathtub has been scrubbed, and the carpet is vacuumed (or should I say, "Swivel-Swept").

There is left-over chicken casserole in the fridge and a grocery list written out (I'm thinking Fried Rice is in the works next). I've taken my vitamins every morning for the past week and a half and I drink Acai Berry Juice for kicks. Now, if I could just start exercising, we'd be good to go. Uh-huh.

Overall, I'm starting to feel so much healthier and so much happier these days. Jesus gets the credit for it all. Thank You, Abba for providing so generously. You're beyond amazing.

-C

Anthropologie

2010-06-24T21:43:00.001-04:00

Cape Charles

2010-06-22T23:17:00.002-04:00

Look, Mom! (And Granddad!)

2010-06-22T18:43:00.002-04:00

	Subject	Course	Section	Course Title		Final Grade
	WRSP	104	001	Harmonic Practices & Theory II		A

Dear Germany,

2010-06-22T07:10:00.000-04:00

I miss you, terribly.

-C

Just a Hello

2010-06-20T11:04:00.003-04:00

The apartment is coming together slowly, but surely. I've spent the past two days painting the place; all but the sun room, kitchen, and the bedroom. I've had to tell myself over and over again that Rome wasn't built in a day and not even that, but they had way more money than I do. It has yet to become everything I've been envisioning, but for a broke college kid, it's not looking too shabby either. It'll get there. Patience, Chelsea Cline. Patience.

Someday, husband

2010-06-16T12:55:00.002-04:00

TO MY DEAR AND LOVING HUSBAND
Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

1641-1643? 1678

Never Fatal

2010-06-16T00:34:00.010-04:00

Brentwood this past Sunday was incredible. I've already learned more these past three days than I have all year. More about guitar, about music, about leading. What's transpiring in my life these days is everything I've dreamt of for over a year now. I'm learning. I'm growing. As a musician and as a worship leader. It's the whole reason I came here.

I don't know if I've ever really said this on my blog, but the last thing I want to be is a worship leader. That probably makes no sense to you, I know - but it has nothing to do with what I want to do and it has everything to do with what God is calling me to do. I don't want to lead worship because for one, I honestly hate being infront of people and for two, I don't even think for a second that I'm good enough to do it. I would much, much, much rather be on the sidelines or somewhere in the background. I seriously have anxiety about leading and when God called me here, I honestly kicked and screamed the entire way to the Center for Worship. But I knew it's what God wanted me to do and even though my flesh was totally dead set against it, the Him in me is much, much greater. I've found myself saying over and over again, "Your will, Lord - not mine."

Even though ultimately the Spirit has gotten His way with me, my flesh has struggled and fought it's way through a solo in choir, worship in my worship 101 class, a worship recital and a classical jury, and this week at Brentwood and at a kids camp called Masters Inn. I was asked to play acoustic guitar at both Brentwood Church and at Masters Inn this week - playing songs I've never played before and songs I've never even heard before. At the camp, I've had to literally learn songs right before we go on, because we have no idea what the set list is going to be until we all show up. I've more than doubled my song catalog in a mere three days, and I've done more transposing on my guitar than I ever even knew was possible for me to do. I didn't even know I COULD transpose on guitar. Chop it up to good 'ole harmonic practices and theory (which, by the way - I got a 100% on my final exam)! I'm still not that quick at Nashville Numbers and transposing, but the awesome thing is that, I can do it. It's amazing when what you've been studying in school finally comes to life and enables you to actually keep up with the big dogs. I still feel totally inadequate, but I can at least hang in there.

As uncomfortable as it all may be, I'm so very thankful for the challenge and for the push God has given me. It's so encouraging when you're given a chance and an opportunity to grow and there are people who believe in you and push you as well.

Even after forgetting to put my capo on during the first song, then putting it on the wrong fret on the next song and then saying the longest, most ridiculous, most drawn-out, flustered and scatteredbrained prayer in the history of all prayers (it was HILARIOUSLY awful - seriously), I'm at peace knowing that's it's not about me. I'm at peace knowing that I'm being refined, not only as a person - but as a musican and as a leader. I'd go through that mortifying experience again, because I learned more in that moment than I ever have by being on the sidelines. I'm experiencing growing pains as a worship leader and musican, and no, it's not all that fun - but this entire blog was built around the fact that if Christ is in me and I'm in Him, failure is never fatal. Courage is the only thing.

There is really no excuse for not stepping out when Christ calls us to go. We've gotta go after what He's called us to do, even when it's beyond us, because that's precisely when He's going to show the world that it's not beyond Him.

I'm soooo looking forward to what God is going to teach me this summer and for the rest of my time here in sweet, little, Lynchburg. It's my prayer that He truly, truly shines through it all - through my brighter moments and my darker moments. It's my prayer that I keep going, knowing full well that "Even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You." (Psalm 139:12)

Failure is never fatal. Courage is the only thing.

-C

Stokedness

2010-06-07T22:36:00.001-04:00

Gearing up for these upcoming three weeks and for a brand new chapter in the book we like to call life...

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45

Pray for me,
-C

Birds of the Sky

2010-06-06T15:52:00.008-04:00

Whoa.

That's all I can come up with to describe the way I feel right now. I feel like I've been hit by a bus, for a lack of better cliches.

The Liberty bookstore is completely empty and I'm having a really hard time not listening to the baristas' conversation about God, the gospel, women and marriage. It's so hard to mind your own business, especially when the topics of God, the gospel, and marriage are involved. My heart beats harder every time I hear His name mentioned. One would think that overhearing a conversation about my sweet Jesus at Liberty University would be commonplace, but not so much, at least, not THIS kind of conversation. We're so used to hearing about Him in the classroom and at convocation and at prayer groups - sure, but to hear a sincere, Spirit-led conversation, with no agenda and no test afterward is simply refreshing. It's as if I just heard His name spoken for the first time.

I've been living in Forest for the past week with my brother and sister-in-law at their new house and have felt completely detached from campus, which is probably why I find myself at the bookstore now. Well, that and because I haven't had internet for the past week. Even though I'm still taking classes, it is sadly evident as I sit here that "college life" has taken a vacation. Campus is eerie, creepy, and this is one ghost-town of a bookstore. It's definitely not the same - depressing if anything. At least Campus Praise Band is playing over the speakers and I have an outlet for my computer. That'll keep the merry-men going for a while at least.

I'm approaching the final stretch of my music theory class and I'm proud to say that I've gotten really great grades thus far. The only thing left is the final tomorrow and then our three music projects that are due on Thursday. Then it's time to rear up for American Literature and Theology 202 (which I may or may not drop, I haven't decided yet...). I'm taking voice lessons as well, which aren't as scary seeming that there isn't a jury to sing in front of - a huge plus to everyone being gone.

I haven't found a job yet. Turns out the pickin's are pretty slim. I really wish I had one, because I would love to go shopping for some summer clothes, but alas - paying for a place to live and for food to eat is way more important. This week has been the most stressful week as far as not having any money goes. I came close to dropping the rest of my summer classes and heading back home, but Mom and Dad have stepped in huge and helped me out with rent and food money this month. I have never felt so helpless or inadequate before in my life. I've always been able to take care of and provide for myself, but God has been putting me in situations to rely on His help through my parents and through my brother and sister-in-law. If it weren't for them, I'd be kickin' it Beau Micah style and hammock-ing it the rest of the summer.

I don't think I'd fare as well as Beau Micah did.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

I've been resting in Matthew 6, allowing myself to believe His words and His truths about His love and provision - afterall, I have nothing left to lose. I've laid down my requests and have waited in expectation for that loan money to come through...except is still hasn't come through. Every time I check my LibertyOne account, I expect to see at least four digits and some cents, but so far it's come up the same: $4.36.

If He's not going to allow that money to come through, He's still going to get me through - we'll just have to take it one day at a time. He's faithful to the end, even when we may not be able see it. He is.

With some money in my checking account thanks to my dad, I prepared to move into my apartment yesterday and to cut a check for $600. I got my keys, opened the door, and let me just say that it was looking pretty rough. REALLY rough. It hadn't be touched at all. So I went back and told Ms. Heather and she scheduled to have it cleaned and ready to move-in by Monday and gave me the month of June for FREE and $200 off of July's rent.

Wait. Whhhhat?

When I could have given up and moved back home, He gave me the faith to hold on. We simply have to receive His help - in whatever manner it may come. He has given us everything we need to glorify Him, and He will continue to give us all we need in order to fulfill what He has called us to do. The LORD is faithful to the very end.

I'm staying in Lynchburg, baby! :)
for FREE!

"Blessed are those who receive help from the God of Jacob. Their hope rests on the LORD their God, who made heaven, earth, the sea, and everything in them. The LORD remains faithful forever."

Psalm 146:5-6

Glory to God, forever.
-C

Thou Shalt Not Resolve 7th Chords on Caffeine Alone...

2010-05-26T01:11:00.005-04:00

...but on every Word that comes from the mouth of God.

"The works of His hands are faithful and just;

all His precepts are trustworthy.

They are steadfast for ever and ever,

done in faithfulness and uprightness."

Psalm 111:7-8

I've no idea why You want me to do this,
but I'm doing it all for You.

-C

The Wife of Noble Character

2010-05-25T00:06:00.004-04:00

"10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Proverbs 31:10-31

Garlands of Hosannas

2010-05-23T00:38:00.005-04:00

"Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start,
your slate's wiped clean.

Count yourself lucky—
God holds nothing against you
and you're holding nothing back from him.

When I kept it all inside,
my bones turned to powder,
my words became daylong groans.

The pressure never let up;
all the juices of my life dried up.

Then I let it all out;
I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God."
Suddenly the pressure was gone—
my guilt dissolved,
my sin disappeared.

These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray;
when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts
we'll be on high ground, untouched.

God is my island hideaway,
keeps danger far from the shore,
throws garlands of hosannas around my neck."

Psalm 32

My First Semester

2010-05-22T12:48:00.003-04:00

I'm not one of those "have to get all A's" kind of gal. Considering where I came from and the attitude I had pre-Liberty University, I'd say that this is QUITE the accomplishment (those who know me well, know exactly what I'm talking about). The cool thing? I got A's in all of the classes that really matter (ahem, music theory...)!

God is brilliant. He called me to take on a major that I would both passionately love and hate at the same time because He knew it would spur me on and challenge me in great ways. Ultimately, He gets the glory for it. There's no way I could have made it through that class - heck, through the semester - without Him.

And without further ado, my grades for my first semester as a real, residential college student:

ENGL	102	052	Composition and Literature	Resident	C	3.000
GNED	101	002	Contemporary Issues I	Resident	C	1.000

WRSP	101	001	Introduction to Worship Studies	Resident	A	3.000
WRSP	103	001	Harmonic Practices & Theory I	Resident	A	3.000
WRSP	125	014	Voice (Freshman)	Resident	B	1.000

WRSP	289	001	Celebration Worship Choir	Resident	B	1.000

:)
-C

New Developments (and some not so new)

2010-05-22T01:41:00.055-04:00

My car is dead. big time. It completely shut off on me as I was sitting in the left-turning lane in the middle of Wards Road. It was so dead that the dumb thing wouldn't even let me turn on my caution lights. I called my brother up on the phone as I preceded to sit through four rounds of light changes until three really great college guys pulled over in the median, ran out of their car, dodged traffic and started yelling, "PUT IT IN NEUTRAL!!!"

Before I knew it, I was moving across two lanes of traffic and pulling off onto the side of the adjacent road where the guys kept checking to make sure I had someone to come get me. my life is so romantic.

Jason came around the hill in his big 'ole red truck, checked a few things under the hood (and cut his arm doing it - SUCH a stud) as another car pulled over to help as well. Ryan was a firefighter and had pretty red lights in his car, so he turned them on and started directing traffic as Jason swung his truck around closer to hook jumper cables up to charge my not-even-a-day-old battery. Turns out the guy who put it in this morning broke a part that's needed to ensure that the cables are securely hooked up so that the battery charges. Loose cables equal no charge, which equals a fried alternator, which equals no car for a while and a lot of money I don't have.

Two hours later, after three different breakdowns and three different jumps, we finally get Lil' Blue back to the apartment where she will be hauled off to the Valley in the morning to get fixed up. Mom is going to teach me how to quilt and I'll get to sing at Aletheia Church for what will officially be the last time...

Which brings me to the third new development:

I went to two different churches this past Sunday and after all was said and done, I felt pretty certain of which one I wanted to call "home." My friend (and amazing hairstylist) Salem accompanied me that day and introduced me to one of her friends, Aaron, at Brentwood. On Monday, I get a friend request from said-guy and a message saying that he found my ministry team audition videos. He then continued to ask if I would be interested in joining the team. Huh. That's interesting.*

God uses the most mundane things to achieve His will. The ministry team videos were put up for the final round of auditions to make a ministry team at LU (closed door) and here God wanted them for Brentwood all along (opened window). I got a call yesterday confirming that it was a done deal and was told (as if I hadn't already realized) that it was totally a "God-thing" because their female vocalist is moving and they've been auditioning female vocalists to take her spot for the past few weeks and hadn't found the right fit yet.

faithful. For twenty-one years my mom has been waiting for my domestication gene to kick in and in the same day that it does, God had exactly the right people come along to make sure that I wouldn't become road kill in the middle of Wards Road. In being ever so faithful to my mom's hope and dreams of having a daughter who shares her love of quilting, and ever so faithful to provide for, protect me, and bring me home safely, He also has finally - in His own, perfect, sweet, time - given me a home church here in Lynchburg and an opportunity to worship Him in song, to sing His praises, and to lead others to do the same.
He called. I answered. He did it.

"He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."

-1 Thessalonians 5:24

God had a master plan specifically created for each and every one of us before He ever even laid down the foundations of the earth (Jer. 29:11-13). To see it come to fruition we must continue to follow His calling even when things become lackluster or gray. We don't give up. We keep running. We keep responding to the revelation of God as we wait on the LORD. He will bring it to pass, because His faithfulness...well...

His faithfulness is nothing new.

-C

*Please see post: Worship, Baby. Worship. for the irony.

It Makes Me Look Smart

2010-05-18T11:17:00.003-04:00

Worship, Baby. Worship.

2010-05-17T00:44:00.026-04:00

A couple things I find utterly amazing:

1. I live in a nook with no doors whatsoever and a wall which is really just one huge window and so far we are sans any peeping-Toms..

2. I'm eating a bowl full of cherries and spittin' out the pits. No really, I am. You won't find any metaphors on this blog...(when really, you will).

3. I installed the B&N "eReader" app on my iPhone for FREE so I can read "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith and of course the classics "Little Women" and "Pride and Prejudice" on my iPhone (another great reason to be anti-social).

4. I caught myself singing, "pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a fool wit ya pants on the ground" yesterday morning as I was picking up a huge pile of dirty jeans off of the floor and putting them into the washer. Such an event could have been merely ironic, an act of the subconscious, or a mixture of the two, but regardless - I found it absolutely hilarious because it was completely, 100%, unintentional (as was forgetting to put in the laundry detergent there afterward).

5. There is a Siamese cat who is currently scoping out my cherry pits...

Life at my brother's apartment is decent for now. Him, his wife, and Sinatra (that dashing Siamese photographed above) will be moving out and into their new house in the next week or two and the apartment will officially be mine. The semester is over, the grades are in, and all-in-all I'm pleased with my first semester here at Liberty University. I was called here to learn worship, and boy-oh-boy is God teaching me worship. It seems like every opportunity I've seized to lead worship here in Lynchburg has closed abruptly in my face, but the fact that I'm seizing the opportunities to praise Him is worship in and of itself. I'm not saying that because it's the right thing to say; I'll be the first to tell you that this has been one of the most discouraging processes I've ever gone through - not being able to do what I love for the One I love - but somehow I'm still able to find joy in these closed doors. It's an evidence of His grace and I'm so grateful that I can even walk into a closed door and walk away bruised. Worship, baby. Worship.

I start my first summer class tomorrow: Music Theory 104 (again, I reiterate - Worship, baby. Worship...). I honestly couldn't be any more thrilled about it. I'm already slowly beginning to lose my mind, so jumping right back into school is a pleasure. Another season is starting, one in which I live off campus, drive to class, serve at Brentwood, work a part-time job (hopefully), work out (again, hopefully) and not have to worry about paying fines for an unmade bed and streaky bathroom mirror.

Byrd is moving down from Harrisonburg in July to start up seminary in the fall, and I cannot tell you how much of a blessing that will be for my phone bill. All of my close friends here at Liberty are either back in their hometowns or interning somewhere amazing for the summer, so it'll definitely be good to have her around. Actually, it'll be GREAT having her around. I mean, she is my best friend and all...and best friends are good to have around.

I'm getting so excited for this next season at Liberty and completely honored that God would bring Byrd into the mix. Never a dull moment, that's for sure.

God is good.
All the time.

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

1 Peter 5:5-11

-C

Anyway

2010-05-10T22:38:00.004-04:00

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love
them anyway.

If you do good, people may accuse you of
selfish motives. Do good anyway.

If you are
successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed
anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten
tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Honesty and
transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent
anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed
overnight. Build anyway.

People who really want
help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give
the world your best anyway."

Parting Ain't Easy

2010-04-25T21:51:00.014-04:00

"Some people come into your life and end up changing your world."

::

A friend loves at all times.
Even when they have to go to college, get married, and move out of the house they've shared for two years in only two weeks notice.

Christ holds us all together.

Thank you for an amazing couple of years.
i love you girls.

-C

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Favorite

2010-04-25T19:49:00.001-04:00

Proverbs 3

¹ My son, do not forget my teaching,
       but keep my commands in your heart,
² for they will prolong your life many years
       and bring you prosperity.
³ Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
       bind them around your neck,
       write them on the tablet of your heart.
⁴ Then you will win favor and a good name
       in the sight of God and man.
⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
       and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
       and he will make your paths straight.
⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
       fear the LORD and shun evil.
⁸ This will bring health to your body
       and nourishment to your bones.
⁹ Honor the LORD with your wealth,
       with the firstfruits of all your crops;
¹⁰ then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
       and your vats will brim over with new wine.
¹¹ My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
       and do not resent his rebuke,
¹² because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
       as a father the son he delights in.
¹³ Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,
       the man who gains understanding,
¹⁴ for she is more profitable than silver
       and yields better returns than gold.
¹⁵ She is more precious than rubies;
       nothing you desire can compare with her.
¹⁶ Long life is in her right hand;
       in her left hand are riches and honor.
¹⁷ Her ways are pleasant ways,
       and all her paths are peace.
¹⁸ She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
       those who lay hold of her will be blessed.
¹⁹ By wisdom the LORD laid the earth's foundations,
       by understanding he set the heavens in place;
²⁰ by his knowledge the deeps were divided,
       and the clouds let drop the dew.
²¹ My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment,
       do not let them out of your sight;
²² they will be life for you,
       an ornament to grace your neck.
²³ Then you will go on your way in safety,
       and your foot will not stumble;
²⁴ when you lie down, you will not be afraid;
       when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
²⁵ Have no fear of sudden disaster
       or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
²⁶ for the LORD will be your confidence
       and will keep your foot from being snared.
²⁷ Do not withhold good from those who deserve it,
       when it is in your power to act.
²⁸ Do not say to your neighbor,
       "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow"—
       when you now have it with you.
²⁹ Do not plot harm against your neighbor,
       who lives trustfully near you.
³⁰ Do not accuse a man for no reason—
       when he has done you no harm.
³¹ Do not envy a violent man
       or choose any of his ways,
³² for the LORD detests a perverse man
       but takes the upright into his confidence.
³³ The LORD's curse is on the house of the wicked,
       but he blesses the home of the righteous.
³⁴ He mocks proud mockers
       but gives grace to the humble.
³⁵ The wise inherit honor,
       but fools he holds up to shame.

Aletheia Meets Liberty

2010-04-20T23:55:00.002-04:00

As much as I've missed my home church lately, it doesn't surprise me at all that God would give Liberty University the blessing of bringing in one of our Aletheia Pastors, Joshua Soto from Aletheia Richmond, to speak at this Friday's Convocation.

I just might cry.

Comfort Zones...

2010-04-20T17:49:00.000-04:00

...no longer exist in my world.

Why am I music major again? Anyone?

Today...

2010-04-19T13:20:00.002-04:00

...I actually like my theory class.

English, Theory, Loans, and a God Who Has It All Under Control

2010-04-16T23:50:00.001-04:00

At one point or another I'm going to start working on this English paper tonight.

There are a bunch of dudes who set up shop outside my window and are jamming out like there's no tomorrow. I'm sure you can hear them from wherever you are. On any other day I would love this, and I guess my heart is with them, but my head - ohhhh, my freakin' head...

It hurts so bad I think I might just cry.
Oh, wait - I am crying.

...on second thought: that's just me being dramatic.

(It's okay, you can agree. I can take a hit.)

So, let's see if I can sum you up on some of the happenings around good 'ole Liberty.

For starters: I have a tutor for music theory now on Fridays from 1:35-2:05 (which is right about the time I would be sinking my teeth into a Chick-fil-A sandwich...oh, the sacrifice....).

Remember how I told you that music theory was my favorite class in the whole world? Well, if there's anything I've learned, it's to choose my words a little more carefully because "Favorite class in the whole world" just isn't cutting it these days. And I mean, who could imagine why? Does "I64" have any significance to you other than it being an interstate? Yeah. It didn't to me either. But now it's the difference between me getting an A in the class and getting a B....

...or a C?

Oh, please not a C.

Pretty darn significant that second inversion chord.

::

I feel like it's been a good semester. Of course, I look back and know I could have done better (but then again, couldn't we always do better?). Everything looks like a piece of cake when you're looking back on it. When you're in the middle of it though, it's a different story. Sometimes you think you'll never make it to the other side.

It's registration time again and that means that financial check-in dead lines are looming right around the corner flashing their vicious dollar signs at me. It's a nightmare, really. I don't know if I'm going to get enough money to take summer classes or even fall classes, nor do I even have a place to live yet, but God will provide, God will provide. In His own sweet time.

Oh, Lord - please provide on time.

Talking to my dad is always the worst. God love him, but sometimes the only thing he's good at is freaking me out. Yes, I realize I'm going to have to pay all of these loans back. Yes, I realize I'm not going to get a "good" job when I graduate. Yes, I know that paying everything back will be virtually impossible.
I know, I know, I know....BUT....

...who am I to say "No" to God?

This is where He wants me and this is what He wants me to do - for a whole lot of reasons I don't understand - but, I'll trust Him.

I'll trust Him.

^"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will IS."

Ephesians 5:15-17

When I first started reading the Bible, I remember seeing this verse practically jump off the page. It says, "understand what the Lord's will IS." First of all, we're to understand His will - meaning that it CAN be understood. Not only that - but we're to understand what His will IS. Not what it could be in the future or what it was in the past - but what it IS, right here - right now.

I have no idea what God wants me to do with my life, all I can see is today. All I can see is right now and right now I think that God wills me to say a little prayer, take about three Aleve, and make the most out of this English paper I have to write.

Because He...

He has already taken care of everything.

-C

It's Not the Best Thing

2010-04-15T17:40:00.004-04:00

"Being "in love" is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now, no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all...in fact, the state of being in love usually does not last...but of course ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love. Love...is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God... they can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be "in love" with someone else. Being in love first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep their promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

-C.S. Lewis

Imperishable

2010-04-14T02:18:00.025-04:00

I've been having so much trouble sleeping lately and it's about driving me freaking insane.

And now that that's out of the bag, let's move on, shall we?

Liberty in the spring time. Man, oh, man.

Well, first off - it's beautiful. I used to think that there was no prettier campus than James Madison - and well, that's probably still true - but I think Liberty is definitely a close second.

Ring by Spring is definitely in full swing. A quad-mate of mine and a few of my friends have gotten engaged and then others have started dating and it's just oh-so-disgusting. Just kidding...

(but really).

A lot has been on my mind lately. Aside from the never ending pile of theory homework and figuring everything out from fall registration, to money, to living arrangements, to what church I'm going to start going to, to leading worship, to relationships - I'd say that the bigger part of it all is just focusing on who the Lord has called me to be, and reminding myself...constantly...that He loves me. All of me.

Just as I am.

It's spring, and that means the pressures to get skinny and tan are rising just as quickly as the temperatures are.

I never really get into the hype, but the lies try so hard to convince me that if I was tanner, skinnier, and a little less modest, that maybe I'd reap someone's love and faithfulness. Bogus.

Truth is that if you catch a man like that, you're going to have to keep him like that, and frankly - that's just too much work, let alone not worth it.

I'm convinced:

There is nothing more beautiful than knowing my Savior.

The tan will fade as soon as the sun gets farther and farther away from the earth, but a gentle and quiet spirit is imperishable and precious in the sight of God.

There is nothing more intriguing to me or more satisfying, than becoming who Christ has called me to be - to be precious in His sight. Who cares if it's in His sight alone?

His sight is the only sight that matters.

"Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
1 Peter 3:4

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Romans 12:2

Perspective

2010-04-13T17:26:00.001-04:00