Forty-Three

"Shh! Be vewy, vewy, quiet. I'm hunting wabbits..."

It's that time of year and I am about to head out with Dad to go shoot me a rabbit for dinner.

If you know me at all, you know that I am absolutely, head over heels in love with Germany and have been wanting to share the love by making a huge German dinner for all of my friends before I leave for college. Imagine my excitement when I spotted the most incredible German cookbook in Barnes and Noble and flipped open to this recipe for rabbit...

                             

      

                        

"Stoked," would be an understatement.

So who's coming to dinner? :)

Forty-Four

My eyes are heavy. So very heavy.

Two services in one day, basically right back to back, a good hearty lunch afterwards, and a 3.5 hour drive back home will do that to ya, I suppose.

Annie invited me to come sing with her at her home church in Roanoke a couple of weeks ago, so my ever faithful roadie and I made the trek towards Star City yesterday in time to practice with Annie's little sister who is an amazing celloist and way too mature and way too hilarious for her own good - but I mean really, what's to expect? Her last name is Lawrence for cryin' out loud.

That family is:

1) hilarious,
2) talented,
3) so entirely genuine and,
4) such a blessing to know.

So basically, they're the Gwaltney's of Roanoke.


The three of us girls played during communion this morning for both the early morning service and the eleven o'clock service. I felt a little uneasy about not having a full band behind us, but the correlation of guitars and cello sounded so rich and full and well, God is always good and always worthy of praise, no matter the circumstance. It was an amazing time and I was blessed to have gotten to play music with two of my sisters for Him this morning. The nerves were actually pretty minimal (considering their church is HUGE), but I might have just been too tired to notice; we stayed up until two in the morning watching Twilight.

Don't judge me.



I guess we could say that it's been hitting me more recently...

Worship. A response to a relationship we don't deserve.

It's been hard to retreat lately into what's been comfortable for me. He's been putting me in situations way out of my comfort zone within the worship ministry. Such situations demand for a good throwing up of the hands and a loud exhale of, "Yep, God. This is totally gonna have to be You because I am so incredibly unable, not to mention a horrible person and completely scared out of my flippin' mind to lead these people."


Here's the thing: whether or not He's calling me to lead worship, my aim in life is and always will be to worship. To know Him for who He is and to live my life in response to who He is.
Truth is, worship is not about me at all.

I don't know the outcome of my calling, only the direction in which I should go. Even though the full-purpose eludes me, taking those steps with the Lord is what I need to be doing. It's going to change me, no doubt. Every step will be in faith. He's confirmed it and reconfirmed it: I have to be brave, persevere, and walk with Him.


There's no turning back now.

"Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'"

Luke 9:62

FORTY-FOUR DAYS,

C

Forty-Seven

Much Gobbletude,
Filmore

Forty-Eight

Forty-eight?!

It's 1:23pm here in New Market and I'm exhausted. Unemployment is hard work. (Ha!)

It's hard abstaining from useless things when you have so much time on your hands. I had this wonderful master plan of how many books I was going to read and how many hats and scarves I was going to knit but so far I got nothin'. Let's not mention that I've been "cleaning" my bedroom for the past two weeks now and it's still not clean. In fact, the only thing I've done well so far is play guitar, eat Chipotle, and go on spontaneous road trips.

Note to men seeking a good wife: don't pursue a girl with a guitar and whom Meyer's-Briggs has deemed an ESFP. Nothing will ever get accomplished.

Aside from being totally lame, I've been striving so hard to get back to where I was with the Lord this time last year. I'm beginning to feel like my old self, yet I'm continually discouraged when I realize my heart is still not matching up with Chelsea at 19 years-old. Let's face it: that girl really loved the Lord.

Laying there in bed last night hating myself for the changes that have taken place and being afraid that I would never be in the same place with the Lord again, God was very frank with me.


"Quit trying to go backwards to be her when I'm trying to push you forwards to being someone new," He says.


Well, isn't that a brillant concept.

"Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:19)

Micah asked me the other day what I was most excited for in heading to Liberty. It was no question; the first thing that rolled off of my tongue was, "growing in the Lord."

He's making a way.



48 days,
C

Fifty-Three

Final Hours 

Desperate and weary
I come
so heavenly, gruesomely burdened
if possible
take this cup from Me
but Your will, not Mine. (Luke 22:42)

My heart is troubled, now what shall I say?
"Father, save me from this hour?"

No, it was for this very reason I came.
So Father, do what you will to glorify Your name!

Then a voice came from heaven,
"I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."  (John 12:27-28)
"They may curse, but you will bless;
when they attack, shame will rain
but your servants will rejoice. (Pslam 109:28)
for You will rise again,"

An angel from heaven appeared
and gave Me strength
And being in anguish, I prayed
all the more earnestly,

sweat dropped to the ground in blood (Luke 22:43-44)
that's when I knew that My final hour had finally come

They repay me with hatred (Psalm 109:1-5)
yet they know not what they’ve done
Father, grant them forgiveness (Luke 23:43)
at the cost of My own blood!

I’m calling for help; but My throat has gone dry.
I’m looking for You up on this tree,
but My eyes, they fail Me (Psalm 69:3)
Father, why have You forsaken Me? (Psalm 22:1, Matthew 27:46)

Darkness comes to light
darkness comes to light
darkness has come to light
church arise, I'm alive!


You have heard and you have seen
and yet you still do not believe (Mark 16:14)
You owe Me nothing
repay Me with nothing
just believe, just believe


Desperate and weary
I Am
so heavenly, gruesomely burdened

Fifty-Four

I'm rushed as I write this, but I wanted to quickly tell you that I made it back to Lynchburg yesterday with Byrd.

Why, thank you for the applause.

It wasn't necessary, really.

:)

It was a good trip, although not quite as exciting as I think we were expeciting it to be, it was definitely worth it.

At convocation, Johnnie Moore spoke about perseverance, about not quitting or giving up "the race."

So convienent as I have been writing this song for the past couple of weeks now and still haven't come up with any lyrics other than the chorus. I was definitely encouraged - to not only finish writing this song, but to refocus my perspective on life and to finish the race, and finish it well.

I have spiritual nearsightedness more often than not, but I have been challenged to look past the horizon and look towards the One I'm living for, to the One who lives through me. If there were no finish line to the race we're running, no one would ever run it, but there is a finish line...and it's glorious.

That's what I learned in college yesterday.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." - 2 Timothy 4:7

"Well done, good and faithful servant" - Matthew 25:21

Keep running,
-C

Fifty-Eight

Taylor and I got into it this morning and sadly this is how things panned out:

Tragic.

I realized a few days ago that I never got back to ya'll on how my audition went, and well, I think now is about the time to tell you!

It went awesome. Not because of me, but because God is awesome and you guys are awesome for praying for me. I felt your prayers, truly I did. I know that God was present in that room and that it quickly became more than just an audition. It was an opportunity to let Christ take the reigns on a situation I had no control in and to show HIS stuff. Praise was given to Him, and I'd say that is already a victory :)

I got an e-mail last night saying that I made callbacks, so now the next step is putting together a musical resume, my written testimony, two references, a snapshot, and youtube video of me performing two songs by Febuary 15th.

Final postings won't be put up until March, so please continue to pray about this with me.

I know He's going to do whatever is best for His kingdom - so please don't be disappointed if I don't make it any further than this! haha. He has a plan! He already knows the outcome, but I wanted to thank you for your support and your prayers in the meantime. I hope the time you get to spend with Him in prayer about this will only bring you closer to Him, I know it has for me. What a sweet blessing prayer is!

Either way, whether I make it or not, we're going to give Him praise because He knows what He's doing and we know it's going to be better than we can even imagine!

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9


Thank you for praying. :)

Love always,
-C