on rings, things, and the Gospel

i used to tell B that I didn't want a typical engagement ring; that instead, i would rather have a super thin, diamond eternity band. the day he picked me up and whisked me off to an estate jewelry store was the day i tried on the ring that i currently have on my finger. although it wasn't a simple band, it was beautiful, and antique, and unique, and really, really...ahem...expensive.

totally kidding.

it really wasn't all that expensive. it was actually wayyyy less than what he had planned to spend. so affordable in fact, that he made me try on more expensive rings because he couldn't bring himself to buy his future wife a ring that cost as much as the tv he bought a month prior. although the other rings were bigger and flashier and more expensive, i fell in love with the cheapest one i tried on. i honestly just liked it the best. go me.

since being engaged, i've heard both Christian extremes on all things nuptial; one of the extremes claiming that engagement rings are merely materialistic and that people should forgo them and be more concerned with their marriage and the Gospel. excuse me, whaaa? who says you can't be focused on the real meaning of marriage and have a diamond ring on your finger? to be fair, i get where they're coming from and i think they're right about a few things. engagement rings are a materialistic thing. and people do need to be more concerned with the Gospel. but in one sense, the sense that flows from one sense right into the other, i believe they're a little misled.

owning a diamond ring does not make a person materialistic. if that were the case, then there would be a heck of a lot of Christian women in sin for donning a symbol of covenant love. materialism isn't dependent upon things owned, but upon an excessive, unhealthy desire to own them. it's a heart issue. a pauper who owns nothing can be more materialistic than a king who has it all yet thinks nothing of it. having a big diamond ring doesn't make a person any less Gospel centered, and not having a big diamond ring doesn't mean they're less materialistic or any more Gospel centered.

but yes, our culture has it's traditions and concepts of what those traditions should look like-- especially surrounding marriage. i glare every day at the average $26k price tag of what the world says my wedding "should" cost. upon my own convictions, there's no way in Sheol i'd ever spend that much just to say "i do." but i also won't sit around and insinuate that couples who have $26k weddings are less Gospel centered than those who don't.

the only thing that makes someone Gospel centered is the Gospel. the Gospel isn't constrained by our prosperity or by the lack thereof-- the Gospel is about Christ.

i think the principle that's being missed in all of this is that it is never about things. it's never about having them and it's never about not having them. it is about Christ. it is about being content in Him and counting all else as rubbish compared to Him (phil 3:8). we should hold onto things loosely, but it is OK that we hold them if given to us. they do, after all, come from Him. as long as Christ is our identity and the Spirit gives us the go-ahead, we can have a Gospel centered marriage and a ring, too-- "for from him and through him and to him are all things."

i wanna hear your thoughts on this y'all...if you're out there. how do you remain Gospel-centered in the midst of a consumerist, materialistic world? is there a "balance" we should keep or should we really turn our back on it all?

and brides or bride-to-be's: how did you or how do you keep perspective while rearing heads with the wedding industry? is there anything you forewent in order to maintain a holy perspective?

-c

ten ways

diy: place cards

i've been working on these pretty babies all evening. i think B would be proud that i actually came up with something original for our wedding--  rather than just recreating some else's genius that i saw on pinterest.

-c

normal

two days before the biggest meltdown of my life, i sat down at the dining room table and jollied in how easily the wedding was coming together. it was almost too easy. i had the photographer of my dreams booked, my mom's renovated wedding dress to wear, a pair of discontinued seychelles shoes that i scored on ebay, a caterer (who doubles as my best friend from high school), musicians (who double as B's friends), an officiant (who doubles as B's dad), and a cabin in the woods (which makes our whole wedding double as a week long family vacation).

and then it was time to tackle the guest list. HANDS DOWN the most daunting thing about planning a wedding y'all. just the thought of having a ton of people there on my wedding day sends me into a hyperventilating frenzy; and on the other hand not inviting them and disappointing them sends me into a hyperventilating frenzy. so either way, there's a hyperventilating frenzy in store. for me at least. i begged brandon all night that night. i begged him to not make me have a wedding.

in a lot of people's eyes "it's not normal" to have such a small wedding, but to me, small is the only normal thing. him, me, our immediate families, and a few of our closest friends hanging out together at home is normal. i want things to be normal as i walk into the new normal. i don't want to be frazzled about a strict schedule of formal & traditional whatevers, and i really don't want a dance floor. i want to sit down at the dinner table with my family and laugh and have conversations together. i want our friends to grab guitars and play music out on the balcony all night. i just want a chance to be together and actually really be together.

contrary to popular belief, a wedding day is not all there is. it just happens to be the first day of even bigger and better days. every day i spend with B as my husband will continue to be the best day of my life, even if it's not all fancy-schmancy and perfect.

because life's not that way.
life is rather normal.

and i'm excited about it.

-c

my best friend's wife

i'm getting married.

wait, really? when did that happen? wasn't it just yesterday that i turned a corner in B&N and ran into him by accident? we constantly (and i mean, constantly) kept bumping into each other after that; a couple more times at the bookstore, and multiple times at jazzman's. we had a movie night at my apartment one night with friends, and i remember going to bed that night thanking God that B and I could be friends again; just like the old times; just like we did before he had a girlfriend.

i missed him.

one night he invited me over for dinner. i expected it to be a social gathering, but when i walked in, there was homemade pasta on the stove and a table set for two. when his roommate came home, we all stood in the kitchen and talked for the longest time. i even told them about a guy i had gone out on a date with; a guy that i was interested in. B and i were best friends... i could tell him those types of things, right? simultaneously, they shot looks at one another. B hesitated in a response, looking nervous and so let down. "what the heck is going on?" i thought. "why are they being so weird about this?"

 i drove home that night putting pieces of the night together. it wasn't normal. he wasn't being normal. i started practicing how i'd let him down, just in case it had been a date; just in case he was interested. we'd been here before; on the brink of being friends and being something more-- and honestly, i just didn't want to go there again.

about a month later, after another dinner at his house, he randomly grabbed my hand out of nowhere and wouldn't let go. i tried desperately to remember my "let's-stay-friends" speech, but i just couldn't. "this is your best friend," I thought.. "and he's holding your hand right now. weird-- but it's right."

And now, almost a year later-- that hand is promised to him.

this summer, my whole life will change.
 i'll be my best friend's wife.

when did that happen?

-c#2b