on rings, things, and the Gospel

i used to tell B that I didn't want a typical engagement ring; that instead, i would rather have a super thin, diamond eternity band. the day he picked me up and whisked me off to an estate jewelry store was the day i tried on the ring that i currently have on my finger. although it wasn't a simple band, it was beautiful, and antique, and unique, and really, really...ahem...expensive.

totally kidding.

it really wasn't all that expensive. it was actually wayyyy less than what he had planned to spend. so affordable in fact, that he made me try on more expensive rings because he couldn't bring himself to buy his future wife a ring that cost as much as the tv he bought a month prior. although the other rings were bigger and flashier and more expensive, i fell in love with the cheapest one i tried on. i honestly just liked it the best. go me.

since being engaged, i've heard both Christian extremes on all things nuptial; one of the extremes claiming that engagement rings are merely materialistic and that people should forgo them and be more concerned with their marriage and the Gospel. excuse me, whaaa? who says you can't be focused on the real meaning of marriage and have a diamond ring on your finger? to be fair, i get where they're coming from and i think they're right about a few things. engagement rings are a materialistic thing. and people do need to be more concerned with the Gospel. but in one sense, the sense that flows from one sense right into the other, i believe they're a little misled.

owning a diamond ring does not make a person materialistic. if that were the case, then there would be a heck of a lot of Christian women in sin for donning a symbol of covenant love. materialism isn't dependent upon things owned, but upon an excessive, unhealthy desire to own them. it's a heart issue. a pauper who owns nothing can be more materialistic than a king who has it all yet thinks nothing of it. having a big diamond ring doesn't make a person any less Gospel centered, and not having a big diamond ring doesn't mean they're less materialistic or any more Gospel centered.

but yes, our culture has it's traditions and concepts of what those traditions should look like-- especially surrounding marriage. i glare every day at the average $26k price tag of what the world says my wedding "should" cost. upon my own convictions, there's no way in Sheol i'd ever spend that much just to say "i do." but i also won't sit around and insinuate that couples who have $26k weddings are less Gospel centered than those who don't.

the only thing that makes someone Gospel centered is the Gospel. the Gospel isn't constrained by our prosperity or by the lack thereof-- the Gospel is about Christ.

i think the principle that's being missed in all of this is that it is never about things. it's never about having them and it's never about not having them. it is about Christ. it is about being content in Him and counting all else as rubbish compared to Him (phil 3:8). we should hold onto things loosely, but it is OK that we hold them if given to us. they do, after all, come from Him. as long as Christ is our identity and the Spirit gives us the go-ahead, we can have a Gospel centered marriage and a ring, too-- "for from him and through him and to him are all things."

i wanna hear your thoughts on this y'all...if you're out there. how do you remain Gospel-centered in the midst of a consumerist, materialistic world? is there a "balance" we should keep or should we really turn our back on it all?

and brides or bride-to-be's: how did you or how do you keep perspective while rearing heads with the wedding industry? is there anything you forewent in order to maintain a holy perspective?

-c

boredom leads to dogs

well, to start things off, i'm not working anymore which has been absolutely UH-mazing! i've really enjoyed having my sanity back along with ample time to focus on college. now it's just a matter of figuring out how to make and save a little extra money for married life. not really worried about it, though.

this past thursday brandon and i realized that we've officially exhausted every movie in the known universe. we ended up driving circles around lynchburg for thirty minutes trying to find  something to do. still stumped, we stopped in at a pet store and bought a puppy.
and y'all-- oh my gosh. he. is. so. sweet. if i could squeeze him lennie style without killing him, i totes would.

after tearing myself away from our new baby, i headed off to staunton the day after to lead worship at a women's retreat where we discussed the theme of "moving on." it was my first women's retreat ever, and i absolutely fell in LOVE with everyone there. not only that, but it was the first time in a very, very, very long time that i've felt genuinely loved by anyone other than Jesus, my family and brandon. i can't even begin to tell you just how plum lonely i've been, but this weekend gave me hope for friendship and fellowship. i trust Him for it and i know that He'll bring it along in His timing...along with a heart that will receive it.

whatever season i'm moving into next, bloggies-- i anticipate it fully. i know that God isn't through with me yet. He will provide me with what He knows i need. at times it's uncomfortable and at times it's beautiful, but forever faithful, He is.

-c

being about the Father's business

This convicted me, challenged me, and blessed me oh-so-much. And that's all I'm going to say about it.

"Stick with your work. Do not flinch because the lion roars; do not stop to stone the devil’s dogs; do not fool away your time chasing the devil’s rabbits. Do your work. Let liars lie, let sectarians quarrel, let critics malign, let enemies accuse, let the devil do his worst; but see to it nothing hinders you from fulfilling with joy the work God has given you.

He has not commanded you to be admired or esteemed. He has never bidden you to defend your character. He has not set you at work to contradict falsehood about yourself which Satan’s or God’s servants may start to peddle, or to track down every rumor that threatens your reputation. If you do these things, you will do nothing else; you will be at work for yourself and not for the Lord.

Keep at your work. Let your aim be as steady as a star. You may be assaulted, wronged, insulted slandered, wounded and rejected, misunderstood or assigned impure motives; you may be abused by foes , forsaken by friends, and despised and rejected of men. But see to it with steadfast determination, with unfaltering zeal, that you pursue the great purpose for your life and object of your being until at last you can say 'I have finished the work which Thou gavest me to do.'"
- author unknown

perspective

i could think like this:

tomorrow will be the first of eight consecutive days that i have to work. kill. me. now.

i still have two research papers to write. they were due monday. whoops.

my skin is breaking out.

my butt is getting bigger methinks.

my cat hates me.

 i wish i would have majored in something fun like graphic design.

my room sucks and it's stacked high with wedding crap.

...or i could think like this:

i'm going to have ample opportunity to show Christ to my co-workers this week.

i'll drop to part-time and focus more on school.

my skin could be worse.

B will like my big butt. when we get married, i mean.

i still love my cat.

egalitarianism and complementarianism are fun to study.

i have a cool new rug under all that crap...
that i'm going to use.....
at my wedding....
because i'm getting married...



perspective.
who knew.
-c

ten ways

diy: place cards

i've been working on these pretty babies all evening. i think B would be proud that i actually came up with something original for our wedding--  rather than just recreating some else's genius that i saw on pinterest.

-c

normal

two days before the biggest meltdown of my life, i sat down at the dining room table and jollied in how easily the wedding was coming together. it was almost too easy. i had the photographer of my dreams booked, my mom's renovated wedding dress to wear, a pair of discontinued seychelles shoes that i scored on ebay, a caterer (who doubles as my best friend from high school), musicians (who double as B's friends), an officiant (who doubles as B's dad), and a cabin in the woods (which makes our whole wedding double as a week long family vacation).

and then it was time to tackle the guest list. HANDS DOWN the most daunting thing about planning a wedding y'all. just the thought of having a ton of people there on my wedding day sends me into a hyperventilating frenzy; and on the other hand not inviting them and disappointing them sends me into a hyperventilating frenzy. so either way, there's a hyperventilating frenzy in store. for me at least. i begged brandon all night that night. i begged him to not make me have a wedding.

in a lot of people's eyes "it's not normal" to have such a small wedding, but to me, small is the only normal thing. him, me, our immediate families, and a few of our closest friends hanging out together at home is normal. i want things to be normal as i walk into the new normal. i don't want to be frazzled about a strict schedule of formal & traditional whatevers, and i really don't want a dance floor. i want to sit down at the dinner table with my family and laugh and have conversations together. i want our friends to grab guitars and play music out on the balcony all night. i just want a chance to be together and actually really be together.

contrary to popular belief, a wedding day is not all there is. it just happens to be the first day of even bigger and better days. every day i spend with B as my husband will continue to be the best day of my life, even if it's not all fancy-schmancy and perfect.

because life's not that way.
life is rather normal.

and i'm excited about it.

-c