two days before the biggest meltdown of my life, i sat down at the dining room table and jollied in how easily the wedding was coming together. it was almost too easy. i had the photographer of my dreams booked, my mom's renovated wedding dress to wear, a pair of discontinued seychelles shoes that i scored on ebay, a caterer (who doubles as my best friend from high school), musicians (who double as B's friends), an officiant (who doubles as B's dad), and a cabin in the woods (which makes our whole wedding double as a week long family vacation).
and then it was time to tackle the guest list. HANDS DOWN the most daunting thing about planning a wedding y'all. just the thought of having a ton of people there on my wedding day sends me into a hyperventilating frenzy; and on the other hand not inviting them and disappointing them sends me into a hyperventilating frenzy. so either way, there's a hyperventilating frenzy in store. for me at least. i begged brandon all night that night. i begged him to not make me have a wedding.
in a lot of people's eyes "it's not normal" to have such a small wedding, but to me, small is the only normal thing. him, me, our immediate families, and a few of our closest friends hanging out together at home is normal. i want things to be normal as i walk into the new normal. i don't want to be frazzled about a strict schedule of formal & traditional whatevers, and i really don't want a dance floor. i want to sit down at the dinner table with my family and laugh and have conversations together. i want our friends to grab guitars and play music out on the balcony all night. i just want a chance to be together and actually really be together.
contrary to popular belief, a wedding day is not all there is. it just happens to be the first day of even bigger and better days. every day i spend with B as my husband will continue to be the best day of my life, even if it's not all fancy-schmancy and perfect.
because life's not that way.
life is rather normal.
and i'm excited about it.