for such things we may never know

When I was younger I used to pray that God would give me a gift exchange. You know, something like what Ariel did with Ursula in the Little Mermaid. But instead of trading my voice in for legs, I'd trade my voice in for some mad basketball skills. Because that was the 'cool' thing to do. Apparently.

The basketball thing eventually phased out when I realized that I didn't even like basketball, but as I got older it turned into other things. Today, it's become a multitude of things. For one, I'd probably rather be a writer than a singer-- but only because writing doesn't come as easily to me. I have to put a lot of effort into it. And to be honest, there's a part of me that really wants affirmation for that effort and for what's being born from it. I want people to leave comments and follow my blog-- yet a good majority of the time, my posts get no acknowledgement whatsoever. That sounds way whiny (because it is)-- but without any affirmation, I feel like I've failed....that what I've written sucks. And this goes for anything I do or take on. I need affirmation, dad gummit. It must be my love language or something. Cliche. But probably.

I might always be average at writing, at cooking, and at decorating my house. I'll even be average at singing (especially here in Lynchburg where the talent pool is insanely deep). But once I feel like quitting any one of those things simply because I can't be the 'best' at it, I've lost a battle with my pride.

I think the idea I haven't quite grasped yet, is the idea that service does not have to equate perfection. Service is not tallied by the amount of comments received on a blog post, a cooked meal, or a 'cute' house. Service is giving back to God what He has given to us, period. Therefore, only I can bring to the world what God intended me to bring, and only you can bring to the world what God intended you to bring-- the only thing is that we must bring something. Exceptional or not in its execution, it is the exact thing God desires to use for His plan and purpose-- for such things, we may never know. 

-c

this weekend and last

A trip to Atlanta and a coming down with the flu/cold was my weekend. The trip to Atlanta = great. Getting the flu = not so great. This evening, YouthQuest led worship for the department of Ministry Team's 'All-Team Meeting.' When I wasn't singing, I was coughing. Like, a lot. If you heard the ruffling of a paper bag during the message, that was me-- reaching in for another Halls. I apologize for my sick, disturbing ways.

Despite my ailments and a bunch of technical difficulties, the evening went pretty great. The YQ band is getting tighter and tighter every practice. We've come such a long way since the beginning of the semester and I'm so thankful that God has blessed us with such a faithful team. This weekend will be our first weekend traveling!
I. am. so. excited.

Do y'all have any fun plans this weekend?
-c

storytime

one of my favorite things to do is tell people about how B and I met. of course, only when they ask-- and some of you have asked, so here it is :)

Our story began in the midst of 23,000 people at Passion Conference Atlanta on January 4th, 2010.

Before the evening main session, I decided to sit down in line and work on a bible study. I was exhausted and excited and irritated all at once. Irritated, because even though I really love music, I don't really care for having a certain song stuck in my head all day long-- especially a song that I only knew six whole lines of. When I sat down in line to do my study, I had for one restful moment, forgotten about this particular song. And then (ohhhh, and then) the guy sitting next to me in line starts humming the same song.

His hair was spikey, and his jeans were skinny. He sat there on his knees, drumming on his lap, and when I should have found the predicament annoying, i found it incredibly copacetic.

"I've had that song stuck in my head all day!"

"Haha. Yeeeah, it's a good one!"

He laughed what I now know to be his "nervous laugh" and smiled. He was only 'kinda' cute to me at the time.

We introduced ourselves. Found out that we were both attending Liberty University and that we were both majoring in worship leadership. Then, all of the little pieces started to come together. Earlier that morning, my friend Annie told me about a guy she met at the main session named Brandon Sharp who was a worship leader at Liberty. Even though she told him about me, I was obscenely jealous because she wasn't about to transfer into Liberty, I was. And I didn't know a soul there.

"Wait, are you Brandon..." (I tried to remember his last name) "...Sharp?"

He laughed another nervous laugh and followed it with a quick, deep breath in, as if he were about to deliver bad news.

"Mhmm........"

For a moment he seemed disappointed, and at the time I didn't understand why. His whole demeanor shifted in an instant.

"So you're the same Brandon Sharp that met my friend Annie this morning?"

His eyes opened up wide, his back straightened up, and he leaned into me curiously. "You're THAT Chelsea?"

A week later when I started classes at Liberty, I realized why he was disappointed when I seemed to know who he was. People had been coming up to him all four days of Passion, wanting to meet the new kid on Campus Praise Band. I knew he was a worship leader there, but I had no idea what the Campus Praise Band was, nor that they led worship for the entire student body 5x a week.

It was weird seeing my friend up there on those big screens at first (heck, it's still a little weird). It took some time getting use to the stares as we walked about campus together. To me, he was just Brandon. He jumps off walls and drinks way too much caffeine. He has an alter ego that comes out past midnight, and his jokes are indescribably corny. He was my best friend.

and now, a year later, he's my boyfriend.
and i'm glad.

-c

seis meses

I've never been one to celebrate monthiversary's, but somehow B and I ended up celebrating them. On our first month he showed up at my door with a single, pink rose. The next month, two. The next, three. And the tradition just stuck. Finally this week, I have a half dozen roses on display-- as well as a venti-sized Starbucks cold cup and a 17-minute piano instrumental track he recorded just for me. He's seriously the most thoughtful, most talented person I know.

 

I ended up making him some string art to hang up in his office at Liberty-- inspired by an artist I found on Etsy. I bought a wood mount at Michaels, stained it a dark walnut color, then nailed an outline of the state of Georgia onto it, filling it in by wrapping jewelry wire from one nail across to the other, and then somehow configured a heart out of nails and wire to mark Atlanta-- the place we met. I brought him into the dining room where I had it hanging on the wall, covered his eyes, and when I had him facing it, I took my hands away and the first thing he said was, "a frog??"

I don't know. Maybe it does look like a frog-- but at least he loved it once I explained what it was. I could hear him out in the living room examining it, exclaiming a "huh!" and a "you're so creative!" every now and again. He's cute.

After exchanging gifts, we settled in and spent the rest of the day watching LOST while drinking homemade cinnamon dolce chai's (another gift to him). We only took a break from the t.v. long enough to make pancakes, eggs, and bacon for dinner, and then back to being lazy we went.

It's great being in a relationship with the right person.
So great.

-c