When I was younger I used to pray that God would give me a gift exchange. You know, something like what Ariel did with Ursula in the Little Mermaid. But instead of trading my voice in for legs, I'd trade my voice in for some mad basketball skills. Because that was the 'cool' thing to do. Apparently.
The basketball thing eventually phased out when I realized that I didn't even like basketball, but as I got older it turned into other things. Today, it's become a multitude of things. For one, I'd probably rather be a writer than a singer-- but only because writing doesn't come as easily to me. I have to put a lot of effort into it. And to be honest, there's a part of me that really wants affirmation for that effort and for what's being born from it. I want people to leave comments and follow my blog-- yet a good majority of the time, my posts get no acknowledgement whatsoever. That sounds way whiny (because it is)-- but without any affirmation, I feel like I've failed....that what I've written sucks. And this goes for anything I do or take on. I need affirmation, dad gummit. It must be my love language or something. Cliche. But probably.
I might always be average at writing, at cooking, and at decorating my house. I'll even be average at singing (especially here in Lynchburg where the talent pool is insanely deep). But once I feel like quitting any one of those things simply because I can't be the 'best' at it, I've lost a battle with my pride.
I think the idea I haven't quite grasped yet, is the idea that service does not have to equate perfection. Service is not tallied by the amount of comments received on a blog post, a cooked meal, or a 'cute' house. Service is giving back to God what He has given to us, period. Therefore, only I can bring to the world what God intended me to bring, and only you can bring to the world what God intended you to bring-- the only thing is that we must bring something. Exceptional or not in its execution, it is the exact thing God desires to use for His plan and purpose-- for such things, we may never know.
The basketball thing eventually phased out when I realized that I didn't even like basketball, but as I got older it turned into other things. Today, it's become a multitude of things. For one, I'd probably rather be a writer than a singer-- but only because writing doesn't come as easily to me. I have to put a lot of effort into it. And to be honest, there's a part of me that really wants affirmation for that effort and for what's being born from it. I want people to leave comments and follow my blog-- yet a good majority of the time, my posts get no acknowledgement whatsoever. That sounds way whiny (because it is)-- but without any affirmation, I feel like I've failed....that what I've written sucks. And this goes for anything I do or take on. I need affirmation, dad gummit. It must be my love language or something. Cliche. But probably.
I might always be average at writing, at cooking, and at decorating my house. I'll even be average at singing (especially here in Lynchburg where the talent pool is insanely deep). But once I feel like quitting any one of those things simply because I can't be the 'best' at it, I've lost a battle with my pride.
I think the idea I haven't quite grasped yet, is the idea that service does not have to equate perfection. Service is not tallied by the amount of comments received on a blog post, a cooked meal, or a 'cute' house. Service is giving back to God what He has given to us, period. Therefore, only I can bring to the world what God intended me to bring, and only you can bring to the world what God intended you to bring-- the only thing is that we must bring something. Exceptional or not in its execution, it is the exact thing God desires to use for His plan and purpose-- for such things, we may never know.
-c
You are adorable. Thanks for sharing your heart. You are right, we only really have an audience of One.
ReplyDeleteI love you!!!
Cindy
I thoroughly enjoy reading your blogs! I've been keeping up with them for a while, but since we haven't met, I haven't said anything. Keep on writing girl, your heart for the Lord is so inspiring :)
ReplyDelete"Exceptional or not in its execution, it is the exact thing God desires to use for His plan and purpose-- for such things, we may never know."... See, you are a writer! And I love that sentence. (However frustrating it may be to me that I am only seemingly okay at a lot of things and excellent at none, I am me and I'll never be anyone else and God doesn't want me to be. Ever.)
ReplyDeleteI like to read your blog. Feel affirmed?
I actually read every post that you put on Facebook lol so you have at least one follower. Your insight on life actually helps me a lot because you write a lot about things I feel in everyday life as well. Just be encouraged that I enjoy your writing and I think you're great at it. And don't feel bad no one comments on my blog either lol.
ReplyDeleteI remember a very wise man, named Ron Reedy(God rest his soul) whispering to a VERY young girl.......Just go up there and *sing* from your heart. And I also remember that very wise man telling you, *sing* as if there is hundreds(even if there are few). That advice still stands true today.....keep on doing what your doing. You have been blessed immensely and I'm so glad that I can say *hey, that's my daughter*
ReplyDeleteHey girl! You have a follower in me! I love reading your blogs. You truly are an impressive young woman with the way you are not afraid to express your heart and soul in the love you have for our Heavenly Father. May God bless you and Brandon. May God always be #1 in your house!
ReplyDelete