Friday, April 16, 2010

English, Theory, Loans, and a God Who Has It All Under Control

At one point or another I'm going to start working on this English paper tonight.

There are a bunch of dudes who set up shop outside my window and are jamming out like there's no tomorrow. I'm sure you can hear them from wherever you are. On any other day I would love this, and I guess my heart is with them, but my head - ohhhh, my freakin' head...

It hurts so bad I think I might just cry.
Oh, wait - I am crying.

...on second thought: that's just me being dramatic.

(It's okay, you can agree. I can take a hit.)

So, let's see if I can sum you up on some of the happenings around good 'ole Liberty.

For starters: I have a tutor for music theory now on Fridays from 1:35-2:05 (which is right about the time I would be sinking my teeth into a Chick-fil-A sandwich...oh, the sacrifice....).

Remember how I told you that music theory was my favorite class in the whole world? Well, if there's anything I've learned, it's to choose my words a little more carefully because "Favorite class in the whole world" just isn't cutting it these days. And I mean, who could imagine why? Does "I64" have any significance to you other than it being an interstate? Yeah. It didn't to me either. But now it's the difference between me getting an A in the class and getting a B....

...or a C?

Oh, please not a C.

Pretty darn significant that second inversion chord.


I feel like it's been a good semester. Of course, I look back and know I could have done better (but then again, couldn't we always do better?). Everything looks like a piece of cake when you're looking back on it. When you're in the middle of it though, it's a different story. Sometimes you think you'll never make it to the other side.

It's registration time again and that means that financial check-in dead lines are looming right around the corner flashing their vicious dollar signs at me. It's a nightmare, really. I don't know if I'm going to get enough money to take summer classes or even fall classes, nor do I even have a place to live yet, but God will provide, God will provide. In His own sweet time.

Oh, Lord - please provide on time.

Talking to my dad is always the worst. God love him, but sometimes the only thing he's good at is freaking me out. Yes, I realize I'm going to have to pay all of these loans back. Yes, I realize I'm not going to get a "good" job when I graduate. Yes, I know that paying everything back will be virtually impossible.
I know, I know, I know....BUT....

...who am I to say "No" to God?

This is where He wants me and this is what He wants me to do - for a whole lot of reasons I don't understand - but, I'll trust Him.

I'll trust Him.

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will IS."
Ephesians 5:15-17

When I first started reading the Bible, I remember seeing this verse practically jump off the page. It says, "understand what the Lord's will IS." First of all, we're to understand His will - meaning that it CAN be understood. Not only that - but we're to understand what His will IS. Not what it could be in the future or what it was in the past - but what it IS, right here - right now.

I have no idea what God wants me to do with my life, all I can see is today. All I can see is right now and right now I think that God wills me to say a little prayer, take about three Aleve, and make the most out of this English paper I have to write.

Because He...
He has already taken care of everything.

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