Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Chasing the Son

March 12, 2010
"We’ve yet to cross over the Atlantic, but we should be crossing over soon. The screen in front of me is telling me that we’re flying over Canada right now, right near Halifax. My eyes are heavy as I only got about four hours of sleep last night in my attempt to stay up all night, but I’m hoping that I’ll be able to sleep for the remainder of the flight. It’ll be a new day when we arrive in Frankfurt.

I was planning on falling asleep earlier, but the lady next to me grew up in Heidelberg and we’ve obviously been talking ever since. We’ve actually gotten pretty close, her and I. I’ve officially taken on the role of opening her bags of pretzels and peanuts in exchange for wise counsel about life and love such as, “if you want to travel, the worst thing you can do is get married. Don’t get tied down!” and “Make sure you use your head when you choose that guy. Make sure he has a good job and makes more money than you.” Well, then….if that doesn’t burst your bubble. Except for the whole money thing - that I can understand. I figure I can just marry someone who has more money than I do (which won’t be too awfully hard) and someone who wants to travel as much as I do and it would all work out just fine.

The sun has set over the clouds and its night now, but it'll back in just a few hours. Crazy how when you chase the sun like that, the night only lasts for so long. I know I’ll never be able to escape darkness in my life, but I know that if I’m chasing the Son, those moments of darkness and affliction will only last so long before the light arises again and causes darkness to tremble. God is faithful to come through for us. I wouldn’t be on this plane heading to Germany if not for His provision, and my heart would not be in the state of healing that it is if not for His hand.

“As surely as the sun will rise, you’ll come to us – certain as the dawn appears.”

I simply have not learned this yet – this confidence I speak of - and although I fear it may take a few more heartbreaks and hard knocks for it to set in, I do have a little more courage than the last time I faced the possibility of getting hurt, the possibility of failing and getting lost in the dark. Lord knows I want to trust Him, and I desperately cling to the hope that He will completely transform my fear into faith, my worry into peace, and turn those slight breezes of sorrow that visit from time to time into a steadfast joy that burns like the sun.

Someday He'll teach me how to love again - and how to love smarter. How to love better. I guess until then, I'm soaring above the clouds, above the storm in a brief night.

it's so good to see you again.