Forty-Three

"Shh! Be vewy, vewy, quiet. I'm hunting wabbits..."

It's that time of year and I am about to head out with Dad to go shoot me a rabbit for dinner.

If you know me at all, you know that I am absolutely, head over heels in love with Germany and have been wanting to share the love by making a huge German dinner for all of my friends before I leave for college. Imagine my excitement when I spotted the most incredible German cookbook in Barnes and Noble and flipped open to this recipe for rabbit...

                             

      

                        

"Stoked," would be an understatement.

So who's coming to dinner? :)

Forty-Four

My eyes are heavy. So very heavy.

Two services in one day, basically right back to back, a good hearty lunch afterwards, and a 3.5 hour drive back home will do that to ya, I suppose.

Annie invited me to come sing with her at her home church in Roanoke a couple of weeks ago, so my ever faithful roadie and I made the trek towards Star City yesterday in time to practice with Annie's little sister who is an amazing celloist and way too mature and way too hilarious for her own good - but I mean really, what's to expect? Her last name is Lawrence for cryin' out loud.

That family is:

1) hilarious,
2) talented,
3) so entirely genuine and,
4) such a blessing to know.

So basically, they're the Gwaltney's of Roanoke.


The three of us girls played during communion this morning for both the early morning service and the eleven o'clock service. I felt a little uneasy about not having a full band behind us, but the correlation of guitars and cello sounded so rich and full and well, God is always good and always worthy of praise, no matter the circumstance. It was an amazing time and I was blessed to have gotten to play music with two of my sisters for Him this morning. The nerves were actually pretty minimal (considering their church is HUGE), but I might have just been too tired to notice; we stayed up until two in the morning watching Twilight.

Don't judge me.



I guess we could say that it's been hitting me more recently...

Worship. A response to a relationship we don't deserve.

It's been hard to retreat lately into what's been comfortable for me. He's been putting me in situations way out of my comfort zone within the worship ministry. Such situations demand for a good throwing up of the hands and a loud exhale of, "Yep, God. This is totally gonna have to be You because I am so incredibly unable, not to mention a horrible person and completely scared out of my flippin' mind to lead these people."


Here's the thing: whether or not He's calling me to lead worship, my aim in life is and always will be to worship. To know Him for who He is and to live my life in response to who He is.
Truth is, worship is not about me at all.

I don't know the outcome of my calling, only the direction in which I should go. Even though the full-purpose eludes me, taking those steps with the Lord is what I need to be doing. It's going to change me, no doubt. Every step will be in faith. He's confirmed it and reconfirmed it: I have to be brave, persevere, and walk with Him.


There's no turning back now.

"Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'"

Luke 9:62

FORTY-FOUR DAYS,

C

Forty-Seven

Much Gobbletude,
Filmore

Forty-Eight

Forty-eight?!

It's 1:23pm here in New Market and I'm exhausted. Unemployment is hard work. (Ha!)

It's hard abstaining from useless things when you have so much time on your hands. I had this wonderful master plan of how many books I was going to read and how many hats and scarves I was going to knit but so far I got nothin'. Let's not mention that I've been "cleaning" my bedroom for the past two weeks now and it's still not clean. In fact, the only thing I've done well so far is play guitar, eat Chipotle, and go on spontaneous road trips.

Note to men seeking a good wife: don't pursue a girl with a guitar and whom Meyer's-Briggs has deemed an ESFP. Nothing will ever get accomplished.

Aside from being totally lame, I've been striving so hard to get back to where I was with the Lord this time last year. I'm beginning to feel like my old self, yet I'm continually discouraged when I realize my heart is still not matching up with Chelsea at 19 years-old. Let's face it: that girl really loved the Lord.

Laying there in bed last night hating myself for the changes that have taken place and being afraid that I would never be in the same place with the Lord again, God was very frank with me.


"Quit trying to go backwards to be her when I'm trying to push you forwards to being someone new," He says.


Well, isn't that a brillant concept.

"Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:19)

Micah asked me the other day what I was most excited for in heading to Liberty. It was no question; the first thing that rolled off of my tongue was, "growing in the Lord."

He's making a way.



48 days,
C

Fifty-Three

Final Hours 

Desperate and weary
I come
so heavenly, gruesomely burdened
if possible
take this cup from Me
but Your will, not Mine. (Luke 22:42)

My heart is troubled, now what shall I say?
"Father, save me from this hour?"

No, it was for this very reason I came.
So Father, do what you will to glorify Your name!

Then a voice came from heaven,
"I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."  (John 12:27-28)
"They may curse, but you will bless;
when they attack, shame will rain
but your servants will rejoice. (Pslam 109:28)
for You will rise again,"

An angel from heaven appeared
and gave Me strength
And being in anguish, I prayed
all the more earnestly,

sweat dropped to the ground in blood (Luke 22:43-44)
that's when I knew that My final hour had finally come

They repay me with hatred (Psalm 109:1-5)
yet they know not what they’ve done
Father, grant them forgiveness (Luke 23:43)
at the cost of My own blood!

I’m calling for help; but My throat has gone dry.
I’m looking for You up on this tree,
but My eyes, they fail Me (Psalm 69:3)
Father, why have You forsaken Me? (Psalm 22:1, Matthew 27:46)

Darkness comes to light
darkness comes to light
darkness has come to light
church arise, I'm alive!


You have heard and you have seen
and yet you still do not believe (Mark 16:14)
You owe Me nothing
repay Me with nothing
just believe, just believe


Desperate and weary
I Am
so heavenly, gruesomely burdened

Fifty-Four

I'm rushed as I write this, but I wanted to quickly tell you that I made it back to Lynchburg yesterday with Byrd.

Why, thank you for the applause.

It wasn't necessary, really.

:)

It was a good trip, although not quite as exciting as I think we were expeciting it to be, it was definitely worth it.

At convocation, Johnnie Moore spoke about perseverance, about not quitting or giving up "the race."

So convienent as I have been writing this song for the past couple of weeks now and still haven't come up with any lyrics other than the chorus. I was definitely encouraged - to not only finish writing this song, but to refocus my perspective on life and to finish the race, and finish it well.

I have spiritual nearsightedness more often than not, but I have been challenged to look past the horizon and look towards the One I'm living for, to the One who lives through me. If there were no finish line to the race we're running, no one would ever run it, but there is a finish line...and it's glorious.

That's what I learned in college yesterday.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." - 2 Timothy 4:7

"Well done, good and faithful servant" - Matthew 25:21

Keep running,
-C

Fifty-Eight

Taylor and I got into it this morning and sadly this is how things panned out:

Tragic.

I realized a few days ago that I never got back to ya'll on how my audition went, and well, I think now is about the time to tell you!

It went awesome. Not because of me, but because God is awesome and you guys are awesome for praying for me. I felt your prayers, truly I did. I know that God was present in that room and that it quickly became more than just an audition. It was an opportunity to let Christ take the reigns on a situation I had no control in and to show HIS stuff. Praise was given to Him, and I'd say that is already a victory :)

I got an e-mail last night saying that I made callbacks, so now the next step is putting together a musical resume, my written testimony, two references, a snapshot, and youtube video of me performing two songs by Febuary 15th.

Final postings won't be put up until March, so please continue to pray about this with me.

I know He's going to do whatever is best for His kingdom - so please don't be disappointed if I don't make it any further than this! haha. He has a plan! He already knows the outcome, but I wanted to thank you for your support and your prayers in the meantime. I hope the time you get to spend with Him in prayer about this will only bring you closer to Him, I know it has for me. What a sweet blessing prayer is!

Either way, whether I make it or not, we're going to give Him praise because He knows what He's doing and we know it's going to be better than we can even imagine!

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9


Thank you for praying. :)

Love always,
-C

Fifty-Nine

I’m shocked that there are only 59 days left before I'm at Liberty.

Considering that I started this blog when there were 83, if things keep going at this rate I’m going to be at Liberty in what seems like tomorrow. Time is a funny thing, isn’t it?

I’m just starting out, but before I know it I’m going to be graduating from Liberty University.


I’m twenty-one. The next decade of my life holds some really big things and I have exactly 59 days to prepare myself for the onset of all of that. Obviously not all of it is going to happen in tandem, but I know that the day I step onto that campus, my life is going to go warp speed ahead: college, graduation, marriage, family, ministry, more college, a career, who knows.

I welcome it all; in whatever shape, way, or form the Lord would bring it before me. It’s just crazy to think of what the next season of life holds. I want to be ready for it. I want to fulfill my purpose within this generation that God is raising up, because I’d think you’d agree that we truly are a generation unlike any other; there’s just something different about us. I notice it every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening at Aletheia Church when hundreds of college students come rolling through the doors. I notice it at Liberty University when there aren't any open seats in the Vines Center for Convocation. I notice it when I see my friends, all roughly 21 years of age, leading Bible studies and teaching and worshiping Jesus and sharing their faith and planting churches when they could be out doing countless other things.

I anticipate looking up into the clouds and seeing Christ in my lifetime - I really do. Yet, even if He doesn’t come for us while there's still breath in my lungs, I would still never regret living my life believing all the while that He will. It keeps me on my toes. It keeps me pushing forward. It keeps my heart alive and my perspective in place; knowing that what our generation does is going to set the stage for Christ’s return -
knowing that what I do is going to set the stage for Christ's return.

Well, hey there goosebumps.


"But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;"
-1 Peter 2:9

Sixty

So, day one of unemployment: woke up at noon and then called my advisor and signed up for classes.

Yep. Noon. (Waffles obviously weren't involved this time around.)

My class schedule for Spring 2010 is as follows:

• English 102
• GNED 101
• Sociology 200
• Intro to Worship Studies
• Harmonic Practices and Theory I
• Private Vocals
• Private Guitar

Now that registration is finished, what's next?

eh...

well, that's exciting.

Sixty-One

I was five minutes late to work this morning.

And, well...







Don't worry. We parted ways amiably. :)


-C

Sixty-Two

Financial Check-in is FINALLY complete!
Registration? TOMORROW!

Sixty-Four

Hi! Welcome to Chili's. My name is Chelsea and I'm going to be your server today.

While you guys are looking around the menu a bit, I'd like to take out the time to point out a few of my favorite items.

First off, I'd like to mention our Presidente Margarita to you. It's our signature drink here at Chili's - and the reason it's signature is because it's actually made with Conmerativo Brandy which gives it a much richer and smoother taste than just your average Margarita - not to mention that it's shaken all the way to your table making YOU the center of attention!

As far as appetizers go, I'd regret it if I never got to tell you about the Kickin' Jack Nachos. You can order either a full order or a half order, but keep in mind that once they're on the table, they go quickly! A fried corn tortilla is layered with mashed black beans, our warm queso, mixed cheeses, topped off with jalapenos, and then showered with our very own margarita spice.

Entree specifically, I'd go for the Burger Bites. These little bite-sized wonders are served on mini, toasted, buttered up, buns. These handpacked burgers are given a good dose of our smoky applewood bacon bits, cool ranch dressing, cheese, and sauteed onions and on the side is our less than average jalapeno ranch for dipping. The burgers are also served with a good helping of our homestyle fries and onion blossom strings, so there's no need to worry about going hungry.


And the moment we've all been waiting for: dessert. The paradise pie is one of the most underrated items I feel that we have. The molten cakes get a lot of hype, but this is where it's at. It's a warm blondie brownie packed with chocolate chips, walnuts, coconut and then topped with vanilla icecream, fudge and caramel. You've never experienced Paradise quite like this before.


Let's just say I'm super stoked that there's only 64 days left to go, because that means there's about 40-50 days left to go before I get to leave Chili's and frankly, I don't know how much more I can take of this corporate hoop-la (confession: I really wanted to say crap right there).

The above was written on here because I actually left my computer charger in Lynchburg at the dorm we were staying in for CFAW. My computer is now dead, so my Mom's handed-down Acer will have to do the trick until I can get back down to L'burg. The Acer doesn't have Word on it, and even if it did there is no way I'd be able to print it off. I could have hand written it, but that would have taken forever and disrupted the flow of my creative, adjective packed (hardly), genius of a two minute long menu-tour (because everyone wants to hear their server ramble on for two whole minutes).

I now have to go copy it down by hand, memorize it, and present it to a manager today before I"m allowed to work. It was due Wednesday, but my rebellious streak kicked in and wouldn't allow me to do it. But then Chris, our store manager called, said I had to have it done or I wouldn't be able to work. My rebellious streak has been put in it's place to say the least, but I am still going to loathe every second of this. You probably will too.

Coming soon to a Chili's near you,
-C

Sixty-Seven

CFAW
Day One


Last night, Annie and I arrived around 7:30 or so, checked-in, signed up for ministry team auditions (8:10 and 8:20 respectively) and then went to Olive Garden for dinner.

After dinner we headed out to our dorm (Campus East) and met up with our RA Laura, signed some stuff, chilled out online for a bit, and then went to room 303 for a hall meeting at 11.

We went over the Liberty Way some and Laura put some rumors about Liberty to rest and confirmed others. Guys and girls do not have separate sidewalks and yes, the only appropriate form of physical intimacy is hand holding and three second hugs.

Speaking of the opposite sex, there is a lot of mention of them. Dating and “meeting your potential spouse”  was specifically addressed at our meeting. Dating is strongly, STRONGLY encouraged – pretty much expected.

Annnd the blood pressure rises.

Once the other CFAWs heard that one of the Spiritual Life Directors on our hall had a boyfriend, they squealed in unison (they were all 18) and insisted to hear the story of how they met. So Linds told us the entire story of how she met her boyfriend future spouse, and it was pretty interesting to say the least.

Turns out, she had made a commitment to God to not date anyone for a year.
Well, first week of class there was this guy in her Communications class whom she loathed because apparently he was a know-it-all, over achiever, and apparently cocky as all get out (her words, not mine). After she gave her first speech, he talked to her for the first time, then moved to sit next to her, and then started throwing rocks at her dorm window - you know where this is going...

When he finally mentioned dating her, she on the other hand had to tell him no because of the commitment she had made with God. He, obviously, thought it was a bit silly, but honored her commitment and told her that he would wait an entire year just to date her.

In the meantime, they were only “allowed” to "go for coffee,” ("cause everyone does that") and talk via facebook and IM. She never even gave him her phone number until their “non-relationship” hit the ten month marker. She had to go days, sometimes weeks without talking to him at all so that she could refocus and keep her heart in check. He wasn't allowed to come visit her over the summer, but be rest assured that once the summer was over and the year was up, he made the drive to go visit her dad and ask if he could date her. They have officially been “dating” for three months now. Props to that guy.



And welcome to Liberty.


All this boy talk and I can’t lie and tell you that I haven’t thought about the possibility of meeting him here. It seems like it’s the first thing out of people’s mouths when they hear I’m going to Liberty. “You’re totally going to meet your husband there!”



Wait – so what’s that about an education?



It scares me, if anything else. More so than the thought of him never finding me, I’m more scared that he will find me. And if he does, then I might just pull a Lindsey or walk around with a garland of dead fish around my neck for a year -

    or something to that extent.

Poor guy.

Convocation is in t-minus 100hrs. Ministry team auditions are tonight at 8:10. I’ve had a sore throat since yesterday and it’s only getting worse. I also woke up this morning and noticed that the bracelet Jay and Jenn got me for my birthday wasn’t on my wrist anymore.

It’s apparent that Satan is desperately trying to deter me but God is strong in me today…


....probably because for the first time in a long time, I’m allowing Him to be.



67 days,

C

Sixty-Eight

I feel drowsy today.

I woke up at about 9, which is a total feat considering that on my days off I usually sleep in until about noon. Oh, the life.

I shouldn't be so tired; I got exactly eight hours of sleep last night.
It must be my body in recovery mode. I've had a very eventful last couple of days to say the least.
I'll try to condense it as much as possible.

Service was absolutely amazing. Worship was incredible, the congregation was alive, and the Spirit was at work in a very special way that morning. My day could have ended here and I would have been stoked to say the least, but God had a lot more up His sleeve that day.

While we were hanging out in Harrisonburg, this was going in New Market:

That my friends, is a tea party. And this...

....this is me realizing that the party was for me.

As if that's not enough, this is the moment I met Taylor...

     

...and that's the moment that I realized that Taylor wasn't the best gift on earth...

...these people were.

THANK YOU.

Needless to say, this week has started off amazing.

I'm leaving in an hour to go to Lynchburg for the weekend.

Ministry Team auditions (and the Dave Barnes concert!) are tomorrow night, so please be praying!

I love you all. I'll write again soon and let you know how CFAW is!

Sixty-eight days and all my love,

-C